No More Talking About my Crazy Family!

I am not going on about this craziness anymore. I realized later this afternoon that you know what? I just don't care. When my father was yelling at me, I sort of shut myself off, just kept saying "uh-huh" and "okay" and "yes, you're right" like a frickin' robot and maybe 20 minutes after my last post, I realized I handled it well. I thought I was gonna cry a couple times but I didn't. And then someone at the office made me laugh and I just realized that in the grand scheme of things, I don't care anymore. It's like listening to a broken record.

So anyway, let's talk about something far more interesting. Men? Dating? Sex?

I've been trying out the Match.com thing. It's not going well. I "wink" at people, I write notes, I surf that site like it's my J-O-B and just.... squat. Oh, but I have gotten a few polite rejections. I lowered my standards just a wee bit to hit on some guys I might not normally chase but still: nada. C'est la vie. But I am signed up for a 3 month membership so I'll keep at it and let you know how it's going.

There was one guy I was chatting with on the IM, then met for coffee but when he left me a voicemail the next day, BELCH included? Yeah, so long Match-boy. He had a lazy eye anyway which, quite frankly, I was willing to try and look past (pardon the pun) but it was distracting and sorta creepy.

I have tried a couple things on my profile. I've selected "curvy" and then "a few extra pounds" and then used "BBW" but still- no bites.

The entire thing still sort of fascinates me though, all the same, and I am considering trying a DIFFERENT website when this well runs dry. I've had a couple friends who've had luck with eHarmony but I heard it's Christian-based so I don't know how I feel about that. I am not opposed to religions, of course, just to crazy jesus-freaks who are gonna shun me for being an Agnostic Jew. (In my head I imagine them shouting "SINNER!!!" and throwing holy water at me.)

Someone else mentioned eChemistry? Or Chemistry... Something like that? What do you guys like?

I am really looking forward to this weekend and maybe spending Sunday at the zoo. I love the animals and it's a fun way to get some exercise while I'm doing something unique.

I had a sensible lunch today- again, another meal I wanted to brag about. I am contemplating dinner as we speak and can't really get excited about anything as I am le tired. However, I may nosh on some of the canteloupe I bought the other night I couldn't finish.

Comments

[Cammy]

Darling, it doesn't matter what size you are, match sucks all around. You're talking to a gal who's done jdate for 5+ years and then moved to SF, the land of forgettable jews, and tried match. Honestly, none of the guys up here are attractive or even remotely witty, which I think you and I agree is the most important part of the personality. Keep trying, but know you're not alone!

Cam

[ariel]

What about j-date?

[Mike, the Displaced Canadian]

eHarmony is subtley Christian, but one of the guys at work did some work on their matching algorhythms, and he was jewish, so maybe there's a secret backdoor somewhere. I know a few people who've used Jdate, although not to any success.

eChemistry fascinates me. I think you should sign up just for research purposes.

Is lavalife still around? I knew someone who made a successful (for two years, anyways) match there.

[Sally]

How about craigslist? I've used it with some success. Also okcupid is one to try.

[valerie]

i have 2 good pals who got married to a couple of nice chaps they met on jdate; my personal experiences have been a smidge less-than-stellar (though this is going back several years and to be fair, i only j-dated for a matter of months), but you never know. doesn't hurt to try, eh? do i sound like a jewish mom yet??

side note (and apologies in advance for weighing down the levity, but i wanted to share this with you & anyone else who might find it worth perusing): yesterday, i attended my friend's little brother's memorial service. he was 23 years old, and a great kid - warm, kind, compassionate, funny as sin, and had this cute mug that was always plastered in what many lovingly referred to at the funeral as his unique "shit-eatin' grin." though his passing at such a young age is indisputably awful & sad, the service was unbelievably inspiring and i took SO much away from it. namely, how much energy i've wasted in the past on inconsequential things - whether a big ol' honkin' zit on my chin or some shmo that dumped me on my birthday or one of my siblings making a crappy remark at dinner. it's embarassing, quite honestly. how could i ever gripe?? how lucky am i! to be healthy; to have a strong capable body that might not be a size 2 any more, but serves me well. to have a job that affords me a comfortable existence. to have family, no matter how nutty they might be. to have friends who are as dedicated to me as i am to them. to live in a great old apartment in this fantastic city. to have the ability to laugh and enjoy and celebrate and feel and love. my friend's brother squeezed every bit of goodness out of life, appreciated the hell out of what he had, and infused everything/everyone around him with his positivity. yes, work can be stressful. yes, our parents can be wretchedly annoying and nitpicky. yes, we get stuck in traffic jams. yes, friends and loved ones disappoint us. and there's absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging when things rub us the wrong way, and having a good old-fashioned gripe. but if we could all take a bit of the energy we spend on wallowing in what irks us, and re-focus it to something uplifting - whether it be recognizing how wondefully fortunate we are, or doing something altruistic and kind for someone else - i think we'd all be in much better shape. i hope your folks know how lucky they are to have a daughter who is brave and well-spoken and quirky and vibrant. like you said, in the grand scheme of things, all the mishegas simply doesn't matter. surround yourself with goodness.

('tis all.)

[valerie]

i have 2 good pals who got married to a couple of nice chaps they met on jdate; my personal experiences have been a smidge less-than-stellar (though this is going back several years and to be fair, i only j-dated for a matter of months), but you never know. doesn't hurt to try, eh? do i sound like a jewish mom yet??

side note (and apologies in advance for weighing down the levity, but i wanted to share this with you & anyone else who might find it worth perusing): yesterday, i attended my friend's little brother's memorial service. he was 23 years old, and a great kid - warm, kind, compassionate, funny as sin, and had this cute mug that was always plastered in what many lovingly referred to at the funeral as his unique "shit-eatin' grin." though his passing at such a young age is indisputably awful & sad, the service was unbelievably inspiring and i took SO much away from it. namely, how much energy i've wasted in the past on inconsequential things - whether a big ol' honkin' zit on my chin or some shmo that dumped me on my birthday or one of my siblings making a crappy remark at dinner. it's embarassing, quite honestly. how could i ever gripe?? how lucky am i! to be healthy; to have a strong capable body that might not be a size 2 any more, but serves me well. to have a job that affords me a comfortable existence. to have family, no matter how nutty they might be. to have friends who are as dedicated to me as i am to them. to live in a great old apartment in this fantastic city. to have the ability to laugh and enjoy and celebrate and feel and love. my friend's brother squeezed every bit of goodness out of life, appreciated the hell out of what he had, and infused everything/everyone around him with his positivity. yes, work can be stressful. yes, our parents can be wretchedly annoying and nitpicky. yes, we get stuck in traffic jams. yes, friends and loved ones disappoint us. and there's absolutely nothing wrong with acknowledging when things rub us the wrong way, and having a good old-fashioned gripe. but if we could all take a bit of the energy we spend on wallowing in what irks us, and re-focus it to something uplifting - whether it be recognizing how wondefully fortunate we are, or doing something altruistic and kind for someone else - i think we'd all be in much better shape. i hope your folks know how lucky they are to have a daughter who is brave and well-spoken and quirky and vibrant. like you said, in the grand scheme of things, all the mishegas simply doesn't matter. surround yourself with goodness.

('tis all.)

[Jerome]

I met my partner on Match. This was after literally YEARS of going on literally HUNDREDS of dates with guys that I didn't like. I know that didn't sound too encouraging, but my point was that if you keep at it long enough, you are bound to meet someone you'll like.

[Joe]

Three words: fling dot com