CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

I'm Tagged!

Well, thanks to Michelle (http://emzeegee.blogspot.com) for tagging me. As I have clearly been running low on blog-like inspiration, I am not at all opposed to requests and tags...

Your Time Starts Now...

My earliest memory is... I don't know if I remember this as much as I've just heard the story so many times I just think I do but as I know it, when my mother had just had my little brother and my father was looking for some way to give me a little attention and distract me, he took me to see Annie in the movie theater. I'd already owned the record and was a big fan. When the song "Tomorrow" came on, I slipped out of my seat (my father was not really paying attention to ANNIE) and dashed up to the fron of the theater. Flailing my arms out and striking my dramatic pose, I proceeded to sing EVERY SINGLE WORD along with the movie.

At school I... probably could have tried harder and done better but my educational record has turned out just fine anyway.

My first relationship was... with Scott Phillips- I was 14, he was 17- whom I dated for precisely three weeks until he cheated on me with Debbie. That ass.

I don't like talking about... money.

My mother and father always told me... to do what makes me happy.

I wish I had... invented the Snuggie.

I wish I hadn't... felt like I needed to please others so much.

My most humiliating moment was... performing in "Fiddler on the Roof" in high school, leaping onto the bed for a scene after a VERY quick change, totally unaware that our house manager had put a whoopie cushion under the mattress (I am still friends with this guy and he loves to tease me about it to this day).

My happiest moments were... Well, one I can particularly remembers with emotional recall is a trip back to New York. After I landed and got my bags, I took a cab to my best friend's apartment on 65th and 1st. She was waiting for me when I got off the elevator on her floor. I cried with happiness to see her after so long. It's like that every time we reunite. LOL.

At home I cook... rarely.

My last meal would be... Italian food or sushi.

I'm very bad at... saying "no." Also, standing up for myself.

When I was a child I wanted to be... a basketball player. Preferably with the Lakers. Preferably beside Byron Scott.

The book that changed my life is... "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

It's not fashionable, but I love... this ratty old Lakers nightshirt I've had since age 10. It was so oversized on me then that it remaind oversized on me now except with a few holes in it. I refuse to throw it away.

The song I'd like played at my funeral is... NOT "Amanda" by Boston or "Mandy" by Barry Manilow.

Friends say I am... God, I have no idea. I'd really rather not know.

My greatest fear is... failure.

If only I could... figure shit out.

The hardest thing I've ever done was... white-water rafted. And well worth it-- one of the best days of my life. No shit.

The last big belly laugh I had was... Thanksgiving. My cousin made a particularly inappropriate remark in front of the whole family.

What I don't find amusing is... ignorance.

I'm always being asked... "Do you have the UTA Job List?"

Cat or dog... I happen to love cats, despite my allergies, but I very much want a dog.

If I wasn't me I'd like to be... a thinner, richer version.

At the moment I'm reading... About to start "Eclipse" but also want to read "Marley & Me" and "Prep."

My favourite work of art is... "Mulberry Tree" by Vincent Van Gogh OR "Flat Iron Building" by Samuel Halpert

My worst job was... Working at a local dry cleaners for about 4 months. I sought the job cause a couple friends worked there and I thought it would be fun but it was pretty much the ANTI fun.

I often wonder... when IT will happen (and what IT is).

And I'm tagging the following...

GlamKatte

Online Dating Girl

Thanks

I am thankful that my roommate is out of town because now I can spend the weekend having major no-pants-time. Show up unannounced at your own risk.

I am thankful for Law & Order. Another holiday means another marathon. God bless Dick Wolfe.

I am tremendously thankful for my friends whom have overwhelmed me with invitations to join them for Thanksgiving. Sadly, even I have my eating limits however, I will try-try-try to hit up everyone.

I am thankful for my Arbonne face mask. My skin is silky smooth. You know you wanna touch it.

I am thankful for the rain. There is a new season upon us. (Los Angeles collectively attempts to recover from the shock.)

I am thankful for my Swiffer duster. Seriously, this thing is the shit. I am a dusting FOOL.

I am thankful for you. Yes, YOU. And I mean that.

Have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Happy Turkey-Day

Admittedly, my sense of humor is a little whacky.

Wishing you all a better Thanksgiving than that one.

*HUGS*

Turducken, Anyone?

Genius Quote

One publicist says to another publicist...

"What is the difference between an issue and a crisis?"

"An issue is when the client calls because they are trying to get a call girl out of their hotel...  A crisis is more like when FOX NEWS calls because the client is trying to get a call girl out of their hotel..."

I'm Kind of an Asshole

My neighbor across the way gives voice lessons a few nights a week.

I want you to imagine what that's like. You've had a long day. And all you want in this whol world is to come home, throw on the jammies and park it on the couch with your boyfriend, Tivo, and a bottle of water (or wine if that's your thing). You shift in your seat and adjust your legs until you are in, quite possibly, the most comfortable position in all the land.

Then you hear something resembling this:

I'm sorry, was that annoying to you? Yeah, imagine that going on for HOURS.

Tonight, our featured guest was learning "Your Daddy's Son." I recognized it right away- it is from one of my favorite musicals, "Ragtime."

I couldn't find Audra MacDonald doing it, which is really the best way to hear it, but to give you an idea:

That opening part? The part where she just hums very prettily? It's not so pretty after hearing it OVER AND OVER AND OVER for an HOUR.

Naturally, I own this album, though. And so I did what any self respecting person would do. I opened my front door and BLASTED the album. Song after song.

Seriously, this neighbor is harshing my mellow. At LEAST three nights a week. I've asked her nicely a couple times and then, not so nicely, to not do this so late into the night, to close the windows- ANYTHING so I don't have to listen to it. She always says the same thing: "I'm so sorry! I know it must be awful to listen to. I'll take care of it."

And this ins't my only problem with this neighbor. Nevermind her fucking up our parking lot.

It's on, homegirl. Don't get too comfortable in that apartment. I have dirt on you. Watch out.

Fat Kids Turn Into Fat Grown Ups

Actually, I take back that title. I was not a fat kid. I mean, I had my weight issues but I was entirely opposite of fat. I was even a child model -- fancy that.

Interesting article over on Advertising Age, though: http://adage.com/article?article_id=132718

What are they saying? According to a new study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research - funded by the National Institutes of Health - a ban on fast food advertisements to kids could cut childhood obesity by as much as 18% in ages 3-11 and 14% in ages 12-18.

In the meantime, fast food companies, who are already required to spend 50% of their ad dollars on promoting healthy living, are arguing the parents are the decision makers here. Are they just trying to protect their rights to advertise and practice business as they wish? Yes. Do that have a point, though? Perhaps...

I mean, no kid is getting to McDonalds without a ride from mom or dad or big sister. Aim a TV commercial at the kiddies all you want; parents are the ones spending the money on products and providing the means to acquire it.

BAN fast food advertising to kids? I don't know... I mean, I totally see their point but then, my mom and dad didn't really allow fast food too often and I still turned out the way I did... There must be other avenues to explore that would help combat childhood obesity. I think we need more physical activity programs and healthier food in school cafeterias. Better education so that children, as they age, are better equipped to decide for themselves what to eat and how to exercise. Better health care and more health-related tax incentives. Show me THOSE statistics. Show me statistics on programs that don't hinder business in a bad economy. Show me the statistics on programs that would likely create jobs and research and mental health and wellness.

Which is not to say, consequently, I would totally disagree on the aforementioned ban- I'm just saying I think there are other ways and better perspectives.

A Good Idea

So I read a LOT of blogs. Or actually, let me rephrase-- I have a lot of blogs bookmarked. I don't read them as often as I should but then I have days like this when work is slow and I can catch up on almost everything, which is awesome.

Anyway, I especially enjoyed this bit over at Bakerella. She has this display in her home and she has over 100 beaches from around the world in jars. I just thought that was such a cool thing and if I actually went anywhere, I'd be all over it.

 

Tidbits From Hungry Girl

Just thought I'd spread the tips around...

Very Rude Awakenings

I abhor having my picture taken. Occasionally, I take a good photo. You'll notice my profile photo, always visible in the upper left corner, is typically a lovely photo taken from a flattering angle and often, photoshopped to bits. But basically, I look like crap in pictures. Which is to say, basically, that I look like crap in reality. The problem is, I don't like how I look and seeing it in a photo makes is harder for me to live in a comfortable denial of that.

Enter my wonderful volunteer experience. I've been serving as an advisor to a teen group and a couple weekends ago, I accompanied 154 of them (don't worry- there were other adults to help) on a weekend retreat. And let me assure you, there is nothing like 75, annoyingly skinny teenaged girls to REALLY drive home how out of shape and fat you are. Ugh.

And after the weekend, pictures started going up. I have to admit, I was very dodgey all weekend, trying to make sure I stayed away from being in any photos at all. And I almost had a 100% success rate until a girl from the northwestern valley chapter posted a photo on Facebook and tagged me in it. A photo of me from behind. In a crowd of teenagers. I looked like an amazon. Worse, I looked like my cousin in New York-- the one with the huge ass I always make fun of.

There was the photo. For me and anyone linked to me on Facebook to see. How humiliating. How undeniable. How HUGE IS MY ASS? Omigod.

Want a good, proverbial kick in the ASS to get you motivated? Have someone photograph your own behind for you and post it to the internet.

Another photo I saw a week later was of me in short-sleeves. I try to avoid short sleeves as a general rule but since Los Angeles is having a fucking SUMMER in NOVEMBER, I've been careless about my sleeve length.

So what is the moral of this tale? I must avoid short sleeves and being photographed from behind.

(What - you were expecting something more profound?)