CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Guide Me, Readers

I know a lot of you have sworn by the Lane Bryant bras... My size is only available online so I'm kind of flying blind here...

If you're one of those swearers, let me know-- do they seem to run pretty true to size? Any tips for fitting?

Thanks, all. More on this as it develops.

You know, so long as my boobs don't develop. That would be ridiculous.

The end.

Men With Accents

Let's all thank "Friends" for this sensation...

If you've never heard of it, this is a list of 5 guys/(girls) that if given the opportunity you would choose to be allowed to pounce on while in a committed relationship. Who's on your list?

Make your own. Just for fun.

Here are my current 5 -- it changes often.

Oh Simon Baker, how I love thee...

 

 

Patrick Wilson is dreamy. Especially when he's singing.

 

 

He's got a temper but have you SEEN Newsies? Come on!

 

Oh Clive. Dreamy, dreamy Clive.

 

 

KIND of wanna lick Brad like a mansicle.  What?

Tweety Oscar

I find the idea that tracking and analyzing tweets (Twitter posts) could prove useful and could produce tangible, useable data in conducting business... Someone from thummit(Get it? Thumms up, thumms down!) reached out having seen my blog and they had this widget... Anyway, just found it interesting. Take a look...

Oscars Tweets

For those of you following my Twitter, you saw how much I updated tonight. It was not without purpose-- I took notes, my friends. Here is the blog behind the tweets. (!)

AMANDA JOY...

… doesn't understand Melissa George's fashion choice.

Nevermind that I can't figure out why Melissa George is AT the Oscars but I'm not a fan of the dress. In the back, it's laced-up and I think it looks horrid.

… thinks Natalie Portman is working that dress. Fierce!

Normally, not such a fan of the pink but this is show-stopping to me.

… is seeing a lot of shades of red and white.

… wants E! Online to post arrival photos faster. Anyone got a better site?

… thinks Beyonce's dress looks like my grandmother's bathroom wallpaper circa 1983. And that is not a compliment (so we're clear).

Is it me or does Beyonce NEVER look natural or comfortable when she poses? You gotta believe she has 7 layers of SPANX on under that dress, right?

Seriously, if you saw my grandmother's bathroom when I was a child, you would understand. It was METALLIC BRILLIANCE.

… is confused-- Ed Begley Jr. is on the red carpet. What did I miss?

… doesn't know who picked out that thing on Phillip Seymour Hoffman's head but COME ON. REALLY?

Me thinks someone is not comfortable in his balding head... He wore this last night at the Spirit Awards, too.

… thinks Jennifer Grey is probably glad her dad's won an Oscar (how else would she get to go to the Oscars?)

Incidentally, it took me a few minutes to realize who the broad with Joel Grey even WAS.

… wants to lick Brad Pitt.

Yeah, I'm not even gonna resize that photo. The man is dreamy.

… can't decide if Lisa Rina is more or less annoying than Seacrest. Although she, at least, has not insulted anyone yet (that I've seen).

Ok, so while Lisa Rina and Joey Fatone managed to annoy the shit out of me when I'd flip over to them, Ryan Seacrest managed to insult people AGAIN. I mean, this is the same jackass who tried to high-five a blind contestant on Idol so I don't have very high expectations to begin with. So with Marisa Tomei, he asked her how it felt to be back at the Oscars since 1992 using the words "it's been SO long..." Well, I hardly think she's not been to an Oscar ceremony since '92, nevermind that she was also nominated in 2002 for  "In the Bedroom." Later, he would go on to insult Meryl...

Ah yes, Ryan Seacrest. Channeling Joan Rivers.

Way to hustle, though, chasing Angelina down on the red carpet after they snubbed you at The Globes... LOL.

...Um, Robert Downey, Jr. looks dreamy.

… ROBIN ROBERTS? Really? Go away, honey. Let Tim Gunn work.

... Tim Gunn just compared Amy Adams' chaste nun to Marissa Tomei's washed up stripper. I love you, Tim Gunn.

… SO happy Meryl Streep does not look horrid. Kudos.

Lest we forget this fashion choice:

… wishes Peter Gabriel were performing.

And after a HORRIBLE musical medley performance, was very glad he didn't.

… wants Craigslist dancers.

Hugh Jackman's opening number? AWESOME. I thought he was just great. I was so surprised and happy for him.

… thinks Tilda Swinton is scary.

She wore make-up tonight. For once. It didn't help.

… wonders how many people it took to stuff Goldie's boobs into that dress.

I tried to find a photo of this... Nothing that showed it in the light the ceremony featured it. Horrendous.

...ok, 18 minutes in. One award. Good think I'm free til 2am.

… has now reached the wine-induced part of the evening. By the way, did you know Sean Penn has EMOTIONS?

And that man gave the BEST speech later on when he won Best Actor. I know everyone was rooting for Mickey Rourke but I was ambivalent. And when this speech was given, I was elated Sean Penn was up there...

… would like to hang with the Japanese animation guy. He's hilarious.

… thinks she saw Amanda Seyfried's dress at JC Penney.

… doesn't really understand... Why are Zac Efron and Vanessa whats-her-name singing?

… is going to--- wait, BILL MAHER? Okay...

So I actually like Bill Maher, even when I don't agree with him but there's a time and a place and he really wasn't meant to open his mouth at the Academy Awards. They should have thought that one through...

… Danny Boyle mentioned Tigger in his speech. We're getting married.

… cried when Kate's dad whistled.

Black Tie Brownies

I made brownies. From scratch. This is a monumental achievement for me. I used to bake a lot but haven't in a really long time.

It's just your basic chocolate chip brownies although the recipe I used called them "chocolate truffle brownies" (I added in the chocolate chips). And then I decorated them for the Oscars. LOL

You can see my two black tie brownies. The A is for me, the J is for Jess-- who is coming over to watch the Oscars with me. And the O is for Oscar. That "bi" brownie is supposed to say 81 (for the 81st Oscars) but I'm not too handy with the frosting gun even though it's my favorite toy.

They're delicious. They may look perfectly square but one of them is missing a chunk on the bottom...

Work it, Girlfriend

I love a woman who dresses for her bodytype... Or whose STYLIST dresses her for her bodytype...

Two words: CLASS. ACT.

Funny, Funny Quotes of the Day

"While the Republicans are licking their wounds trying to figure out how they suddenly became the nonathletic fat kid who smells like cheese..."

-Liz, http://lizinla.typepad.com/

"I forgot my security card. It was on my pants but I forgot where it is..."
"Well thank God you remembered your pants."

-Me and a co-worker

The Sweet Life

My new BFF, who was kind of enough to send me SoBe in the first place filled me in on this magical sweet-but-no-sugar taste I mentioned yesterday. I know a lot of you have shared great info. on this kind of thing with me so I wanted to return the favor:

This is the stuff making my drink taste delicious: http://www.purevia.com/

And it comes from this complicated little plant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevia

Happy reading.

Quote of the Day

I love my girls. They continue to surprise, educate and humor me.

Before every meeting, we do a little roll call. Name, age and something about yourself chosen by the chapter President; tonight's was "what you like to do outdoors."

For the record, mine was camping.

And one of my girls, who is typically on the quiet side, offered: "My favorite thing about the outdoors... Um, I don't really like the outdoors... unless I'm at an outdoor mall."

Two snaps for the honesty, my girl. I respect you.

Always the quiet ones... Love it.

Life Water

More nice people sending me something to drink on their dime...

I got a lovely package in the mail from SoBe. Seriouisly, it was this long, thin box and a very cool looking poster-tube type package. I wish I'd taken a photo of it but you can kind of see it in the photo on the left... I couldn't remember if I'd spoken to them or not (I had- I'm just a nitwit) so I was not sure what was inside...

Behold: SoBe's zero calorie LifeWater in three flavors. Fuji Apple Pear, Yumberry Pomegranate, and Black & Blue Berry.

An avid fan of Glaceau's Viatmin Water (but only the Power C flavor, actually), I was delighted to try this. Why? Well, I was devestated when I realized my precious Power C had 13g of sugar per serving. Oh sure, it's calorie free but that was deceptive to me. And SoBe LifeWater? No sugar. I don't pretend to be a scientist or to understand how they accomplish it, I just know what I taste and what I read on the omniscient world wide web. So yea-- flavor, zero calories, zero sugar? Sign me up. I am water deprived, friends. We all know I struggle with this. I'll trick myself with pretty colors and shiny packaging whenever I can.

Now, on the website, it looks like they have many more flavors coming soon but I only had three to reckon with. And I liked two of them which, all things considered, ain't bad. In fact, I LOVED the Black & Blue Berry, despite a name that made me snicker (I have no idea why-- use your imagination). The Pomegranate was a bit too sweet but my co-worker, who had a sip, liked it a lot and said she likes stuff like that to be really sweet. So I drank the whole bottle and decided it would be a good backup when the store was out of B&B Berry.

Fuji Apple Pear? Not so lucky. I took a couple sips, couldn't stand much more of it, and passed it onto my roommate who will drink pretty much anything that doesn't cost him money.

For those of you who are totally unfamiliar with this product, here's a refresher-- the awkwardly dancing Naomi Campbell and the creepy animated lizards from last year's Superbowl commercials:

My final complaint? I can't find it! I mean, thanks and kudos to the lovely people who sent it to me but now I wanna buy some and cna't find the stuff. What gives? Hopefully it is coming soon to a store near me...

One other thing I feel obligated to point out? SoBe is a PepsiCo product. As an avid lover of Diet Pepsi and an avid loather of Diet Coke? This makes my cold heart warm with joy.