Last week, I was lucky that a friend was brave enough to be honest with me. And she told me she was worried about me and my health. She knows me well and it had probably ocurred to her that I might not respond well to such comments but she said it anyway, for which I thank her. It actually got me thinking. It sort of opened my eyes.
It's really hard for me, actually, to see myself as overweight. Even though I've been so almost all of my life, I look in the mirror and really, I just see ME. I just see this image I am used to. Even when I am naked in front of a mirror, I catch myself thinking "well, you look totally different in clothes so who cares..s" but the truth is, I need to do something before I reach that point where I can't do anything... because I sense that point is coming.
And so I made a walking-date with a co-worker for one night this week. And I walked to lunch one day last week. I went to Trader Joe's this weekend and bought a ton of fruit and healthy snacks I can keep at my office. I bought granola to have for breakfast instead of a coffee-like concoction and a mid-morning snack. I went to the market and bought an artichoke since I know I like those and could easily learn to make one myself. My brother actually e-mailed me how he does it in the microwave so that will be cake.
Yesterday, I baked a cake for my co-worker's birthday and after, when I was craving something sweet, I had grapes instead of cake or cookies. That was a small triumph. And especially on a Sunday night which is when I tend to eat the worst for some reason.
I also tackled a couple projects in the house. I did a huge load of laundry, reorganized some books, put away some stuff that's been sitting out too long and I put the massive collection of shoes on my bedroom floor away while also getting rid of pairs I never wear anymore and rediscovering pairs I forgot I owned. It was better than buying new at Nordstrom! It made me feel accomplished and gratified and like somehow I could now do anything I wanted (oh sure, it's just shoes but you have no idea what my bedroom looked like BEFORE I undertook this project). Thankfully, my roommate was out of town or else he would have had to see me strutting up and down the hall way in my pajamas and various pairs of dress shoes. On the outside, AJ the lunatic - in my head: Giselle.
So if anyone is feeling overwhelmed, I would suggest tackling a small project. And then another one. And let the feeling of pride and accomplishment from that propel you toward something a little bigger. And so on. Baby steps are okay. Baby steps lead to grown up steps, I swear.
One more thing I would highly recommend? Trust your best friends. And be wise enough to know when they are being supportive so you don't bite their heads off.
