CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Day One!

Lindora: Day 1

The key with Lindora's program - and there's really no way around this - is discipline. You have to go in EVERY day to get weighed. You have to adhere to a pretty strict diet. You have to drink X amount of water. And for these first three days, you only eat their food. Low-carb, high-protein.

And low-taste, might I add. But I figure for just three days, I'll stick it out. I keep thinking of the payoff. I keep thinking of my "magic dress" (yes, still).

So I ate a whole lotta stuff I wasn't crazy about but it wasn't HORRIBLE and the chicken noodle soup was even, dare I say, somewhat tasty. Oh, and to be fair, I've decided I could LIVE off the chocolate-caramel protein bars. Anyway,  outside of that, not a lot to report.

I checked in on my lunch break, weighed in, took some measurements and am happy to report that yet again, my blood pressure is low (this always surprises doctors). If you don't mind, I am gonna keep my weight and measurements to myself (if only so many people I knew didn't read this) but I promise to update often on my progress. I just have nothing today: consider today 000.

I had my camera with me all day so I figured I'd grab some photos to mark this new start:

I brought all of my foods for the day to work. Once I learn the instructions by heart, I won't have to bring the boxes. That was a little ridiculous to tote.

Um, best toy EVER. Hand mixer. For my shakes and puddings, etc. Although, one woman at my office mistook it for a little fan. In her defense, we found out it DOES give off some air.

In the bathroom at Lindora, they have this mirror that makes you look skinnier. I want to bring it home.

My kitchen cabinet. Newly stocked. 

And these little devils are the tempting treats someone brought into the office today. People kept offering them to me and walking by my desk with them... And I did not have a SINGLE ONE!

I'm sorry, what was that? NaBloPoMo is over? And I DID IT? Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself today. ;)

Long Weekend: Over. So Very Sad.

I was finally feeling well enough today to MOVE.  I put up the tree and some decorations. I did TWO loads of laundry and cleaned out the big storage closet. Even threw out some old stuff which as a borderline hoarder, was remarkably hard to do.

I have a BUSY week ahead of me. Lots of youth group stuff, lots and LOTS of work capped off the first of a few major events we have coming up. Lots of personal changes...

I've been rather evasive regarding my new diet plan, I know. I guess I was thinking back to when I almost had my gastric bypass surgery, went through the WHOLE PROCESS, only to get denied in the end by my insurance company. This is nothing like that - not on such a grand scale and is certainly not a surgical process - but I was just afraid to jinx it, I guess.

But you may recall my low-point moments and trust me, I sure do. I felt AWFUL in that short period and so my parents and I put our heads together to find something that would make me feel better. We arrived at Lindora, a program I met with success over eight years ago and now, have arrived at again. I've had my consults, bloodwork, paperwork signed, payments made and doctor's consent given. I've picked out my food and spent two weeks mentally preparing myself, psyching myself up for what's ahead. Like I said, I think of that "magic dress" for inspiration and I find I am tangibly EXCITED for this time, next year, when I will be undoubtedly healthier - mentally and physically. 

Lindora helped me shed over 60 pounds last time I did it. But I was barely 22 and leaving college. I was leaving 9/11, New York and so much behind me, moving back to LA, and I suspect it may not have been the best time to conquer a new diet plan, long term. And I was living at home, had no social support, no work support... The blogosphere alone provides me with so much support and my parents are on board... I feel stronger and more equipped. I feel like this will be a GREAT change for me.

So tomorrow, the blog starts to get far more interesting because now you'll REALLY have to follow me on a journey. No more random k'vetching and tales of woe. Well.. not entirely. I'll have something to report on and I look forward to your support and feedback, readers. I encourage you - if not beg you - to bring it on!

Glee

The high points of my day were lunch with a friend (hot & sour soup - best cure ever) and watching Singin' in the Rain on AMC.

Things I did NOT do today:

• Laundry -- I have so much of it to do it's gonna suck Monday if I don't do it tomorrow
• Move from the couch after 8pm (except once to use the bathroom)
• Get enough fresh air
• Play in the annual Broomball game with my friends - 2nd year I've missed this

Other things I DID do today:

• Played a ton of Facebook games
• Watched a plethora of HGTV
• Discovered my laptop has Mahjong on it and played for a solid hour
• Read O Magazine (the one with Ellen on the cover)

Being sick is never pleasant but let's face it, it's easier to be sick and miss work than be sick during a lovely holiday weekend and miss life. I'm annoyed. I have cabin fever.

Well, anyway, at least I can say I got my rest in for the long weekend. And one other thing I did today, I watched and rewatched this:

It's amazing. I well up with tears every time.

This is a cute gadget...

Quote of the Day

My BFF is awesome!

"No one loves you like I do. And if anyone says they do, I'll fight them."

-Casey

Had a lazy day. I woke up with some Laryngitis, coughing up some grossness so I opted to spend the day in, parked on the couch, with Gatorade and soup. I entertained my new addiction, HGTV, and caught up on the stack of magazines I brought home from work.

Thanksgiving was lovely. I don't know what it was since my mom is ALWAYS an amazing cook but this year the food just seemed ESPECIALLY delicious. We had a bit of a scare when my Grandpa fell and hit his head but he's fine now. Everything, overall, was so nice. 

And the best part? Two more days off. HOORAY!

Happy Turkey Day

I hope everyone has a GREAT Thanksgiving, filled with love, warmth, family and friends.

Best wishes for a fantastic day, my friends.

Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving!

I may be a Grinch when it comes to December's holiday insanity but I happen to LOVE Thanksgiving.

Primarily, I love it because of my mom, who always outdoes herself, even when she claims to just be "keeping it low-pro" (like this year).

One of the nicest things about moving out of my parents house is how nice it feels to go BACK there. Not always, mind you, but when I am feeling my worst, all I want is mommy... and for someone ELSE to do my laundry (although typically, I always want someone else to do it).

At Thanksgiving, the house feels especially warm. I love the sights and smells of the day - all the flowers and food put out. It's marvelous.

After my parents' house, I most always end up at Gigi and Dan's because after my mom, no one holds a candle to Gigi's Thanksgiving spread. And homegirl makes it all from SCRATCH. I assure you, it's remarkable. It's delicious. And if nothing else, it's ALL ABOUT THIS DELECTABLE ITEM:

 

THAT would be RICOTTA QUICHE, my friends, and IT. IS. DELICIOUS. I happen to know it's already made and Gigi lives close enough that I am tempted to drive over there right now and get me some... but decorum is keeping me well-behaved for now.

Oh I can taste it now.

And as I embark and a bold, new diet plan (more on that coming soon, I swear), this will be a perfectly fabulous way to say good-bye to food-I-should-not-eat-because-I-can't-stop...

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Some truly amazing friends, family and co-workers (some of whom ARE friends now); employment; a roof over my head and a landlord that finally intervened with the crap new neighbors; books, music and a renewed love of sketching; among other things I think of frequently.

I feel my brother deserves a special,specific shout-out. He's been a trooper for me this year. And that goes for my best friends, Casey and Jaime, for their continued support and positive attitudes. Even  though I don't see them often enough, I always know they are there for me.

And lastly, my gift to you, I am thankful for this song by Michael Buble because every time I hear it, I can't help but smile and do a little dance of joy, even if I'm sitting down.

Coca-Cola LA Tasting Event

Last Tuesday, I was invited to a Coca-Cola blogger tasting where they unveiled their shiny, new alumninum bottles. The event was held at the High Rooftop Lounge atop the Hotel Erwin in Venice. I brought along my friend Jess and was excited to see some familiar faces - especially my friend Marni, who - totally unrelated to this event - happens to be the best baker I know.

The setting was gorgeous. How can you beat a rooftop view in a beach town? It was a weird configuration for a lounge -- the ceiling of the top floor of the hotel rises out of the roof a little and you get a minimal view of the hallway -- but I liked all the private nooks and crannies and the nice cushioned benches with heating lamps. Special kudos for passing out blankets as well; I thought that was a cute touch.

They had passed hor'dourves, which were delicious, but I couldn't help but feel guilty that plus-one, Jess, who's a vegetarian, could only enjoy one of the snacks. In a town like Los Angeles, you'd think they'd make more concessions for that lifestyle but we run into it a lot.

Of course, the main focus of the event were these nifty new aluminum bottles Coca-Cola plans to sell in high end shops and eateries. It definitely keeps the beverage cooler for longer and it's certainly sleek looking. I wish they were a little bigger but that's just the soda-addict in me. They're a couple ounces lighter than your average can but maybe that's a good thing.

Everyone present from Coke was super friendly and informed on their product and they sure outdid themselves with goodie bags. In fact, because me and my friends were the last to leave the event, we made out like bandits with a lot of extra bottles.

Here are a few highlights/photos:

 

 The entry

The valet area - I liked the art

Jess, Tzviah, David and Marni

  

The goodies 

Also see:

• Happy Go Marni's blog entry on this event:
• All of my photos on FLICKR

The Blog of the Quest

Last week, a nurse tried to take my blood. Just a routine bit. I tried to tell her the best place to stick me is on the outside of my left arm... She poked quite a bit and had no luck.

She couldn't even find a viable vein on my right arm. And so it had to be the hand.

Which, by the way, HURTS. Like, a LOT.

A couple bruises later, I stood up and promptly... FAINTED.

When I woke up, she was very apologetic. I looked over at the tubes and asked if she'd even gotten enough blood... and she assured me she had.

So imagine my annoyance when they called me a couple days later to tell me they needed more.

And so Saturday, I got up EARLY and my mom met me at a lab right when they were supposed to be open according to the print-out I had been given...

Alas, they were not only closed, but it turns out they had not been open on Saturdays in two years. So we panned down the list for other labs supposedly open on Saturdays and drove a little more to the next stop.

But they had a two hour wait.

{le sigh}

Now I don't like needles but by this point, I was ready to stick one in my arm and hand the blood over happily.

So big, gigantic thanks to Nurse Tomiko at the Quest Lab who, this morning, did the bloodwork in mere minutes and it didn't even hurt. One tiny bruise. No tears.

Tomiko of Quest NoHo, you are my new angel.

Magic Dress

This photo was taken in early October 2004. I bought that dress at Bloomingdales. I remember a few things about buying it...

I remember I could not believe it fit. It was a smaller size than I was accustomed to buying but at the time, I'd just lost a bit of weight. I was ecstatic. I mean, it's a sleeveless dress and I NEVER go sleeveless.

I remember how excited I was. And I remember how excited my mother was - she was with me - and how I was hesitant to buy it but she talked me into it.

I remember I wasn't sure if I could wear black to a Catholic wedding in a church. LOL. I asked the bride, my friend Nichole, and thankfully she was/is aware of my ignorance of religions outside my own... Regardless, I got a shoulder wrap and felt better about it.

I never wore that dress again. I had no occasion to in 2004 and 2005 was the year of my terrible car accident, my slip n' fall accident, the break-up and the gall-bladder surgery. That was the year my life seemed to spiral out of control and I began stuffing my face, seeking consolation. And in the subsequent years, I'd go back to school, experience stress and a new job and new relationships; go into debt... things have not improved much since I took off that dress, I suppose.

Now, though, I look at that dress and feel mildly hopeful. Because I am hoping that by this time next year, I will almost fit into it again.

Yeah, you heard me.