CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

So Long to 2009

I'm stealing Rory's Facebook status:

"Dear 2009 I didn't mean to do this on Facebook but I think it is time
to see other people... Sure we had fun, some laughs along the way,
but I think it is time for us to move on.
I mean, change is hard but it's not you--it's me."

Granted, 2009 was not my worst year ever (2005? I'm looking at you!) but it ranks right up there. This was a tough year and I gotta tell ya - I'm walking away from it with a smile on my face. Partially because I'm still drunk off the emotion of a fabulous night last night and partially because I am optimistic for a better year in 2010.

I know a lot of people don't like to get caught up in new year's. I hear people say "it's just another night" and sometimes, I've been one of those people. But these last couple years, I've taken to looking at it differently. It's come to represent a fresh start; a new beginning. Somehow it's like you've been forgiven for a short series of transgressions and you get to start clean. Does that make sense? It's a big, convoluted metaphor, I suppose. But it works for me!

I looked back through my blog, wanting to check up on any resolutions I'd made for this year but I guess I only made them in my mind - I couldn't find an entry. That's probably due to an old mindset of mine in which I like to whine "I resolve not to make any resolutions" but I could have sworn... But anyway...

I'm sure there was resolve to do something about my health. And I gotta pat myself on the back for that one -- it took almost the whole year to get my ass in gear but almost 30 pounds shed and more-to-come makes me feel a sense of accomplishment I've not known in a long time.

It's likely I made some resolution about relationships. Maybe even to have one. Well, lord knows I did my fair share of dating (badly) in 2009 but I'm ending the year happy and in progress. I'll leave it at that.

My finances are not stellar but they're improved -- I'm centimeters closer to paying off the debt that will continue to plague me for years and years... I saw my best friend TWICE this year (she lives far away - this is a big deal)... I turned 30 this year and I have admit I loved it... I didn't really move up the corporate ladder this year but I stayed employed and am thankful... I feel closer to my parents these days, which is astoundingly nice... My true friends continue to be there for me and thank goodness for that...

2009? You sucked a lot but you weren't without a few highlights.

Let's just make 2010 a little more highlight heavy, kids.

 

Naughty For Christmas

A lot of people have asked me why I chose to start my new diet over the holidays...

Because I'm a masochist?

I guess I just figured I could keep making excuses all year long but if I just jumped off the cliff to see if I could fly, I'd try harder. I'm weird - I like to overcome adversity up front and hope for smooth sailing afterward...

Oh, but this week was TOUGH, my friends. I gave myself permission to indulge but I have to admit I got carried away at times. And last night, I was SICK. It all caught up with me. I was curled up on the couch at 2am, clutching my stomach and begging for relief (actually, I'm being melodramatic, I was on the phone with my friend and bitched to her about it, basically).

But anyway, despite my gluttonous ways, I had a really nice Christmas. I spent my fourth or fifth (cause we can't remember when I started going) annual Christmas Eve with Jaime's family -- always my favorite Christmas activity. They're a huge, happy, loving family and it always fills me with warmth to spend holidays with them. 

Christmas day was a breakfast-food, cider and eggnog, Nintendo Wii, Christmas movie filled experience with a few friends. We attempted to conquer Super Mario Brothers over a five and a half hour period and gorged ourselves whilst watching "Christmas Vacation" and the "Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Christmas special. 

Last night, I had a really nice dinner who come to town every year for the holidays. I always have so much fun with them and it's always bitter-sweet cause I never know when we'll all get together again... There was an abundance of food and then playtime with their dogs and a tremendous amount of laughter over the silliest things.

Alas, I have to return to work tomorrow. {Sigh} I love vacation time. Just two days of work before it starts over, thankfully. I can do it... I can pull through...

I hope everyone had a safe, happy, healthy-food filled holiday. I say "healthy food" because if you had the stomach ache I had last night, you have my deepest sympathies, my friend. Although I guess we all suffer for joy... It was the stomach ache of a happy, well-lived and loved, long weekend. I can make peace with that.

2nd Annual Year in Quotes

I did this last year and it was fun to put together - why not make it an annual entry? After all, I'm such a big fan of sound bytes. I love a good zinger or a line of inspiration...

A personal favorite to get us started:

"No one loves you like I do. And if anyone says they do, I'll fight them." -My best friend

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone
just as wild to run with." -Sex & the City by way of Jacki's Facebook page

"I'm going to let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!" Kanye West, interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards

"I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career." -Brent Spiner (twitter)

"What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers... well then we're shit out of luck." -The Hangover

"Don't know how i am gonna play 2night but I am for AM..." -Travis Barker (twitter)

"Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met." -President Obama's inaugural speech

"I've been in relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean you're happy." - George Clooney.

"I just wanted to say, ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. I just wanted to say I love him so much." -Paris Jackson

"I love my job and I love Alaska, and it hurts to make this choice, but I'm doing what's best for them..." -Sarah Palin

"Marriage is good. There is something special about unions of husband and wife. Unless we bring men and women together, children will not have mothers and fathers." -Carrie Prejean

"Get ready for the ride of your life Will Schuester. You're about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination horror!" -Glee

"There's a plane in the Hudson. I'm on the ferry going to pick up the people. Crazy." -Twitter user JKrums

"Man! This is so crazy and hella fun! I love New York!" -Nick Swisher (twitter)

I Love Soup

The title of the entry doesn't have a thing to do with the entry itself except that I had soup for lunch and it was delicious. When it's chilly outside, soup is such a comfort.

My entry of almost a year ago on leggings continues to draw out the controversy as I got another inflamed comment on it but oh well. No joke - I get a few of those a month (some I delete). I get that my sarcasm does not translate well on the internet and I suppose I was trying to be too metaphorical... Anyway, all I ask is that you have some self respect and stop calling me names. Thanks.

I had a very busy weekend filled with friends, music, laughter, karaoke and far too much food. With the holidays racing up behind me (which is how it feels), my diet is SO hard to maintain but I'm making the best of it. I'm not gonna lie - yesterday was not a model day, but I hung in there. It was not the disaster it could have been and when I weighed in today, I had maintained my weight from Friday. That satisfied me enough.

Other highlights of the weekend also included The Dan Band, going to the CSI Miami holiday party with friends, shopping, lunch with an old friend I don't see often enough, getting a serenade and lap dance from two glorious, gay men and the most insane egg nog - Puertoriccan Eggnog - in the history of the world (remember my diet deviation? There you have it).

I leave you with this Quote of the Weekend:

Cheesecak Factory Salesperson: Have you ever had the red velvet cheesecake?

Me: No...

Her: OMIGOD, Amanda. It is a COME-TO-JESUS-EXPERIENCE. You have no idea.

Indeed. And some day, I will have to have a bite.

Did and Did Nots

What I DID NOT do today:

• Shower
• Leave the apartment
• Change out of my pajamas before 4pm
• Catch the mouse I am convinced is living in my kitchen and walls
• Enjoy Lindora's tomato soup. I was sold on it by a very enthusiastic clinic employee but it just tastes like stale tomato powder.

What I  DID do today:

• Watched a LOT of Law & Order SVU
• Update my address book
• Read a chapter of a book
• Read a couple magazines
• Chat on IM and Facebook with a few people I haven't talked to in a while

Oh vacation. What a life. Do I REALLY have to go back to work on Thursday? Sigh.

Quote of the Day

Hotel Valet:  Is this good lookin' feller going with you?
Elderly Lady: Oh him? I won him at the craps table.

Update on... well, me!

Immediate clarification: to participate in Lindora, you have to pass a doctor's examination and get bloodwork done (which I've mentioned). So anyway, my current stats are:

Weight loss since Lindora start date, 11/30: 13.5 lbs. 

BUT!

Weight loss since Lindora medical exam, 11/25: 17 lbs.

I see it a little in my face now, which is nice. My tight pants are less tight although I've still got a bit to go before I can stop referring to them as the "tight pants."

What's REALLY great news is that yesterday, I gained half a pound, ate out for two meals, went in today and had lost .8!

It comforted me to know I could enjoy a meal out and still have those results. Sure, I won't be ordering a burger and fries combo any time soon, but I was perfectly happy with the BBQ Salmon I had last night. I've not been such a fan of salmon this year for some reason but this was delicious. (I've been wondering if my tastes could be changing as a result of dieting.)

This weekend, a true test - off to Vegas with the family. I don't doubt I'll eat right, I just wonder how depressed it will make me knowing what I USUALLY consume in Vegas. LOL.

Quote of the Day

Co-worker: Kinzie, have you lost weight?

Kinzie: no, I just poop a lot.

Kinzie: 1, Co-worker: 0

BTW, read Kinzie's blog for it is fab: http://www.tocheeseornottocheese.com/

The end.

Concert Goers Guide to the Audience

You know, I've been to a lot of concerts and you know what's a TON of fun at concerts? People watching. An especially at country music shows - that is the pinnacle of people watching, my friends.

And because I am taking a few vacation days and am enjoying some free time, I present you with a guide to some popular concert-going characters:

Hoochie Girls:  These are girls who go to concerts in stilettos and VERY short skirts. It's totally impractical and they probably look great but I hate them anyway. (No one said I wasn't judgemental. and frankly, I think you can wear jeans and flats and still look cute.)

People Without Rhythm:  There's one or two at every show! You know, the lady sitting like two seats over who is clearly enjoying herself more than anyone in the room but can't clap along with the beat to save her LIFE. She becomes distracting. She's on the border of crazy-town. God love 'er.

The Guy Who's REALLY Into it: He's got posters and shirts and he knows EVERY. WORD. to EVER. SONG. And OMIGOD, he tears up when the artist sorta-kinda glanced his way.

Drunk Guy: Oh, you know this guy cause he probably lived on your college campus... and he hasn't left yet. YEAH! YEAH, BABY! YEAH! Not to be confused with...

Drunk Girl: She is, like, soooooo into this show. OMIGOD! Do you wanna dance? I totally wanna dance. I loooooooooooove this song. Like, I LOVE this song. Let's go gring up on some guy! EEEEEEEEEEEE!

Random Older People:  You gotta give' em credit, right? In a room full of screaming teens and 20-somethings, there are mom and dad or Uncle Bob and Aunt Betty. And they are all smiles. You go, random older people!

And who'd I forget, concert-lovers?

Trophy Time

My friends, I've lost ten pounds. I thought I needed a little trophy for that. Like every ten pounds, I'll make a little badge. And in FACT, I've lost 11.6 pounds. Hooray!

Now here's where my head gets twisted: I'm afraid to eat. Isn't that bizarre? I am so enjoying the weight loss, and it's not like I am starving myself, but I'm afraid to eat. I do not want to get on that scale EVER and see a gain. I'm horrified of that prospect.

But I'm eating. And I'm eating healthy. And I'm losing weight.

Over the weekend, I got a considerable amount of exercise. And I really watched my food. And so when I got on the scale on Monday and had only lost .75 lbs., I was disappointed. This is a result of losing six pounds in the first two days. But so be it. It wasn't, at least, a gain, and I know you just cannot drop three pounds a day.

And so today, my loss was 3.8. Ridiculous, right? Look, I'm not saying anyone can do this and I am not preaching my program. I don't want anyone to think this is the right thing for EVERYONE because, let's face it, I am not a role model. But shit, that was an INSANE weigh-in. I love it!

More than that, by the way, it's nice to feel a little bit in control of something I've previously felt totally out of control over. I'm tackling my own problem and telling it to fuck off. And it's AWESOME.

One drama at a time, readers. That's how I like 'em. After I have my health in check, I shall seek to bring peace to the Middle East. Amen.