Per various news sources, Ryan Seacrest's media conglomerate is teaming up with AEG (Anschutz Entertainment Group) and Mark Cuban to rebrand Cuban's HDNet as AXS TV (pronounced "Access").
Ryan Seacrest: E! host, reality TV producer, morning radio host, top 40 radio host, American Idol host...
It is a daily struggle for me. I wanna like the guy. But the Kardashians are kind of his fault.
But you can bet your sweet arse I was tuned into the premiere of "American Idol" last night. I love me some bad, bad auditions.
But where the eff were they?! How am I supposed to feel better about myself at the cost of others' humility if not for the epic audition fails? (It's called schadenfreude, people. Live it.)
I did like the new spin at the top; the "where were you when" montage. I cannot believe Idol is 11 years old! Kelly Clarkson is approaching 30! I mean, this isn't the Kennedy assassination - I have no idea where I was when Kelly Clarkson won, but I know I watched it. I remember my inexplicable fascination with Justin Guarini's hair (but not his voice - I thought he was overrated)...
So last night's other highlights for me included the very first auditioner - a fantastic singer, age 17, who looked about age 12, and sang like a young Michael Jackson. First audition, first through to Hollywood.
Seriously, I cannot believe he is 17. I want a birth certificate.
The poor, unfortunate student who came from Africa to audition in Savannah. And sang like William Hung. Henceforth, he shall be known as Afro-Hung.
I was going to spare you a clip but I just couldn't resist. You may post all of your gratitude below in the comments section. You're welcome in advance.
Ashlee Altise, who walked in looking pretty ghetto, down to her mismatched open-toe ankle boots (I'm sure it was intentional but she looked ridiculous). She was one of those stories where you knew they'd build it all up and then she's sing like crap... Except she was good! You just know she's gonna end up in the top 20 so I'll have to keep judging her ghetto fashion choices.
Dear lord, I hope they do something with her hair.
Seemed like everyone was the MOST over the moon over the final audition of the episode, Phillip Phillips (yes, real name) but I didn't get it. I thought he was good and sort of adorable, but I didn't feel the same exuberance my twitter feed was busting with. Maybe it will come to me later...?
THIS. {{prolonged awkward pause}} Is American Idol.
