Ah, life's little mysteries. For example, at home, I am always finding coins strewn about. A penny on the floor, a nickel on the bathroom counter, a Canadian quarter on the coffee table... I don't know why my roommate does this. If I dropped three coins on the kitchen counter by the toaster, I'd pick them back up. And why does she always leave cabinets open? I will likely never know.
Behold the great Microwave Mystery (FYI, this should have been an episode of Scooby Doo if it wasn't already). I come home daily, sometimes twice daily, to find my microwave's cycle was ended seconds before it's due. You know what I mean? Like when you stop it 10 seconds early but don't clear it... How does this happen on a regular basis? If you know your food is going to finish before the three minute mark, why don't you just set it for 2:45? Also, did the the "clear" button treat you badly in a prior life? I bet you have someone in your office who does this. Or have had in the past. This is a mystery to me. Microwave crimes are avoidable, people. Just say clear.
And since I'm questioning life's biggest puzzles, can we talk for a moment about making a right turn on a red light? I know this isn't legal in every city and state (Arizona, I'm lookin' at you, you crazy kids), here in Los Angeles, we practically pride ourselves on it. But some more than others. And why is that? The law is place because it makes sense to do it -- no cars coming, no people crossing, curve yourself around that corner, kids! Go for it! Live large! People who sit there with a clear path before them while they wait out the light make me want to lash them with my cell phone charger (it's what's handy in the car).
And lastly, since I'm in a bitching mode today, let's talk about elevators for a minute. Because I will NEVER understand why, when I am alone in an elevator and another passenger gets on, they insist on standing right in front of me. I mean, that's basically daring me to spit on you - you realize that, right? Like, I'm the kind of asshole who'd probably pull a string out of your shirt or try to pluck a hair... Frankly, the same rules applies for movie theaters. If it's a fairly empty theater, there is no need to sit anywhere near me, asshat. I'm not gonna feel bad about putting my feet up on your seat or hogging the armrest, so MOVE. Also, coukld we exercise a little cellular ettiquette? Do you need to be yelling at your kid or parent whilst it is only you and I in the elevator? I don't care what soup you are making for dinner tonight. And by the way, pushing any elevator button multiple times NEVER made any elevator work faster.
Okay, there's a hat-trick of analysis for you to sit and spin on for a while. I know when I don't blog for a while you probably assume I have something huge brewing. I wish that were the case -- I'm just not that clever. But hopefully little gems of wisdom and curiosity such as this entice you to keep coming back for more delightful anecdotes.