CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

20th Century Fox, I'm Judging You

I'm starting to feel pretty bad for Melissa McCarthy, who keeps finding herself the subject of controversy out here in Hollywoodland. 

And my god, when I saw this story on The Curvy Fashionista, my fingers flew into a Googling rage.

Not to mention the rest of me. So here we are.

You may know Melissa from her Oscar nominated role in Bridesmaids or her Emmy winning role on CBS' "Mike & Molly." If not, you may have loved her as Sookie on Gilmore Girls. 

She's been raking in the movie roles. No, they haven't all been winners (hello Identity Thief), but she is undeniably endearing and hilarious; she has a great reputation in Hollywood.

And in case you are still struggling, this is what Melissa McCarthy looks like. Check out the UK and US posters for her newest movie, The Heat:

Oh wait, I'm sorry. That is actually NOT what Melissa McCarthy looks like. This is what she looks like, 20th Century Fox:

So why doesn't the poster look like this? This is who you're paying to see:

 

Photo via The Shiznit

 

I mean, I'm certainly guilty of Photoshopping my photos. I've taken away the ocassional blemish. I've even modified my chin from time to time. But as far as I'm concerned they've not only insulted women by altering her size, they have insulted Melissa because the woman on those movie posters isn't even her. 

She's an Oscar nominee. Standing next to an Oscar winner. Starring in a comedy directed by the guy who directed Bridesmaids. If this movie does not do well, it has nothing to do with her appearance, people. 

And furthermore, even as a mere amateur graphics designer, womanhood and size aside, I am insulted by how crappy this Photoshop job is. 

The Heat is obviously already slated for a DVD/Blu-ray release and I hope Fox Home Entertainment is paying attention to this. It would be a shame if that horrendous artwork ends up on the DVD covers as well. Thus far, 20th Century Fox has had no comment on the matter and I hope that is because they have been rendered speechless in their shame. Or because they are entertaining pitches from new creative agencies, having had to fire the one that designed this poster. 

Dancing With Team Dick - Five Questions with Sharna Burgess

I loved "Team Dick" from the first week of Dancing With the Stars. Oh sure, my heart (read: libido) lies with Ingo Rademacher (click that link, ladies. And you're welcome.), but I developed a soft spot for Sharna and Andy right away – especially after a really fantastic first-week routine that the judges were unfairly harsh about. I know it’s an “IMO” thing, but everyone who watches the show knows Len has a stick up his ass anyway. When I watch them dance, I feel happy and I'm totally rooting for Andy, who's overcoming a LOT to do what he's doing (and he was kick-ass on KROQ's Kevin & Bean last week - loved it). 

Sharna Burgess grew up in Australia where despite being a tree climbing tomboy, her love for entertainment and dance was evident from a very young age. At just five years old,  Sharna began training in Ballet, Jazz and gymnastics. By eight she had started Ballroom. As I’m sure you can imagine, it took off -  it launched! - from there.

Sharna’s resume is peppered with awards, accoldaes, Broadway shows and big TV titles but she’s long gone unrecogfnized on DWTS. Finally and thankfully, this season, she’s been “promoted” from troupe to pro, partnered with Andy Dick, and making me smile ever since.

And I was REALLY excited that someone liked me enough to let me ask Sharna a few questions and publish them here.  

1. Tell us a little about all the things you do in combination with your rigorous rehearsal and performance schedule to stay in shape!

I am a huge believer in hot yoga! I discovered it about a year ago when a friend convinced me to go. Truly it changed my body, and it SO good for you. After a long day I still want to go take class, not only does it stretch me and work me out, it's at the same time relaxing and helps me decompress. 

I would love to say that I eat well all the time, but I'm human and have my cheat days too! Sometimes I'm so busy that a protein bar has to suffice so I can keep it moving. I try to make healthy snack choices, and make sure I have a high protein diet and cut out unnecessary carbs. I definitely stay away from dairy also.  Dark chocolate however is my weakness.

2. Some people may not realize you've been on Dancing With the Stars for a couple years already, even though this is your first year as a "pro." How has your life changed moving from troupe to pro status?

It's SO different! I think nothing can prepare you for this experience. You don't understand the meaning of busy until you're in the middle of it! I'm loving every minute and enjoy every aspect of my role as pro. I'm blessed to have been here three seasons and already know and love the cast and crew. Andy has been an incredible first partner on the show, he has dedicated his entire mind body and soul to the competition and gives me everything he has every day. I could t ask for anything more. 

3. Who are your dance heroes?

So many!!!! Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, Cyd Charisse, and of course Michael Jackson to name a few!

4. When you want to treat yourself, what do you eat and drink?

Well... There's a few things. I'm a dark chocolate lover, and seem to every now and then crave a good old fashioned home made hamburger with the lot! I'm a healthy eater generally but when I have those treats days I well and truly go ALL IN! But I feel like that helps me keep balance, I'd go insane if I cut all the fun stuff out for good. 

5. When you travel, what are some of the things you absolutely must have with you?

My iPad, my music, a note pad , and my uggs. I like to keep long trips comfortable and I find when I have so much down time I like to get creative and write out artistic concepts in my note pad . 

* * *

You know what’s nice?  When famous people are awesome. In my mind, Sharna and I are besties now. I hope she doesn’t mind.

Dancing with the Stars airs on ABC Mondays (tonight!) at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8c 

Follow Sharna on Twitter

Go #TeamDick!!! 

In Memoriam

 

As 2012 comes to an end, let us remember the couples we lost:

Memoriam from AJ Feuerman on Vimeo.

 

Suggested Not-Topics

Dear blog readers, Please feel free to chime in on this. 

Just a quick note. Moving forward, I request that we all refrain from discussing the following:

• Lindsay Lohan
• Rihanna and Chris Brown
• Any of the Kardashians
• Especially Kim Kardashian 
• X-Factor
• Ryan Gosling
• Justin Bieber
• Justin and Selena

Yeah?

Ok, just kidding about Ryan Gosling. We should talk about him as often as possible. 

Love, 

AJ

In Which I Decide @Uber Needs a New Campaign

Uber is an on-demand private driver -- it's an app you can download on your iPhone or Android. I've not even used it (yet?) but I feel like they should be taking advantage of this surge in celebrity driving disasters to promote their services. So I made them an ad:

Effective, right?