CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

No More Talking About my Crazy Family!

I am not going on about this craziness anymore. I realized later this afternoon that you know what? I just don't care. When my father was yelling at me, I sort of shut myself off, just kept saying "uh-huh" and "okay" and "yes, you're right" like a frickin' robot and maybe 20 minutes after my last post, I realized I handled it well. I thought I was gonna cry a couple times but I didn't. And then someone at the office made me laugh and I just realized that in the grand scheme of things, I don't care anymore. It's like listening to a broken record.

So anyway, let's talk about something far more interesting. Men? Dating? Sex?

I've been trying out the Match.com thing. It's not going well. I "wink" at people, I write notes, I surf that site like it's my J-O-B and just.... squat. Oh, but I have gotten a few polite rejections. I lowered my standards just a wee bit to hit on some guys I might not normally chase but still: nada. C'est la vie. But I am signed up for a 3 month membership so I'll keep at it and let you know how it's going.

There was one guy I was chatting with on the IM, then met for coffee but when he left me a voicemail the next day, BELCH included? Yeah, so long Match-boy. He had a lazy eye anyway which, quite frankly, I was willing to try and look past (pardon the pun) but it was distracting and sorta creepy.

I have tried a couple things on my profile. I've selected "curvy" and then "a few extra pounds" and then used "BBW" but still- no bites.

The entire thing still sort of fascinates me though, all the same, and I am considering trying a DIFFERENT website when this well runs dry. I've had a couple friends who've had luck with eHarmony but I heard it's Christian-based so I don't know how I feel about that. I am not opposed to religions, of course, just to crazy jesus-freaks who are gonna shun me for being an Agnostic Jew. (In my head I imagine them shouting "SINNER!!!" and throwing holy water at me.)

Someone else mentioned eChemistry? Or Chemistry... Something like that? What do you guys like?

I am really looking forward to this weekend and maybe spending Sunday at the zoo. I love the animals and it's a fun way to get some exercise while I'm doing something unique.

I had a sensible lunch today- again, another meal I wanted to brag about. I am contemplating dinner as we speak and can't really get excited about anything as I am le tired. However, I may nosh on some of the canteloupe I bought the other night I couldn't finish.

Taking the Plunge

I am the newest member of Match.com.

I was thinking after I posted my last entry and thought, "why the hell not?"

So here I go... Hiding behing photos I look the thinnest in and describing myself as "curvy" hoping somehow no one sees it and reads "fat."

This is the funniest part - the confirmation e-mail:

You just got a subscription for love.

Aw, isn't that nice? ... Also:

You may resign your Match.com subscription at any time. When you resign, your billing stops immediately, and no new charges will be billed to you unless you re-instate your subscription. However, if you resign after the third day of your initial subscription period, you will continue to have access to your account for the remainder of your subscription period and you will not receive a refund unless: 1) you resign within three days of your initial term; 2) you become disabled before the end of your subscription period (such that you are unable to use the services of Match.com); or 3) you die before the end of your subscription period.