CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

This could be cool

So this could be cool to check out. I saw a commercial promoting it, believe it or not, during the Toronto/Orlando basketball game today. I think, in fact, it's some kind of promotion for State Farm insurance, but it doesnt cost anything and from what I gather, you just sign up, sign in, and keep track of the weight you drop. Clearly, the goal is for the nation to shed 50 million pounds and fight obesity and all its consequences (heart disease, blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) -- why not?

http://www.50millionpounds.com

Answer me this...

Curious... Anyone ever done one of those diets where you pay a fortune and they bring you pre-packaged and cooked meals for youy day or week to your door?

I just saw a commercial for eDiets.com's new program like this and it made me curious is all. I could never afford to do something like that but I was just curious if the food is any good, if it's really useful...?

I Call Bullshit

Well, here's a heaping pile of horse dung if I ever saw one:

http://www.eatallyouwantandstillloseweight.com/

What a catchy URL, by the way. Morons.

MUFA

Okay, so here's one from a reader that I had to look into. I mean, someone tells you you can just eat more FAT and lose weight and you're like "say WHAT, homey?" So here I am on the Google:

Of course, let's not get crazy - you can't just pig out on the doughnuts and porkchops (and EW - if you ARE, we should talk) so here's some references I found on this "MUFA" diet if you are interested:

http://www.xomba.com/truth_about_mufa_diet_why_is_it_so_effective

http://care.diabetesjournals.org/cgi/reprint/dc06-2220v1.pdf

http://thenewsleak.com/2008/01/02/mufa-diet/

Let me know what you think.

Any by the way, kids, if anyone IS losing weight eating porkchops and doughnuts, shoot me a message. THAT Would be something to write about.

Looks Promising

I got an e-mail about this and I gave it a look. I mean, as far as aesthetics go, it looks clean, user-friendly, sort of quirky and hip... It remains to be seen if it's useful but I certainly love the idea of it.

http://www.diettv.com/

This paragraph is what sold me. It's a sales pitch but that doesn't mean they don't have a good idea:

Let's change the way the world thinks about dieting. We think of a DIET as a fresh start, empowerment, a plan for preventative health care and also peace of mind. We aren't selling any weight loss gimmicks. We're simply applauding your courage and determination to make yourself healthier and happier, one pound at a time.

BBW

“Feeling fat is worse than being fat!”

-Geneen Roth

Thank you to “K8-EEE” for that marvelous quote. I really like that.

What makes YOU feel fat? How often do you say to yourself or out loud, “Shit, I feel sooooo fat.” How often do you hear someone else say that? How often is that person skinny?

Just some food for thought. Pun intended.

I learned a new internet acronym this month. “BBW.” Have you heard this? I guess it’s for “Big Beautiful Woman.” I saw it on a dating website as in “no BBW’s please” and then again as “BBW’s welcome. Size not important.” I pretty much figured out what it meant on my own but had a friend explain it to me anyway.

I don’t know if I am a BBW. It’s not clearly defined. It’s not a “real” word, after all. I mean, there’s a page for it on Wikipedia and as much as I love me the Wikipedia, even they can’t help. Although they do mention “SSBBW,” the “super sized” version, which is over a size 26. “According to who?” I wonder.

So is BBW someone who shops in a plus size department? I guess that would make sense to me. But what is plus sized? Plus sized models are usually sizes 10 or 12. But plus sized clothes usually begin at 14W or 16W – and I happen to think they shouldn’t start til size 18, by the way.

And for the record, I’ve come to realize that BBW is really just a euphemism for “fat.” I mean, isn’t it? A more P.C. way to say overweight, right? Like “curvy” or “voluptuous.” These are the words girls on match.com and Craigslist use to make it clear they are not skinny without being forced to admit they are overweight.

Like it’s something to be ashamed of.

Look, we all have our problems. I am ashamed of the fact that I have struggled to quit smoking and have hid that from various friends. I am ashamed of the fact that when I was at my senior prom, I made out with my friend’s date (story for another time). But I am not ashamed of my size. I am frustrated with it, I am working on it and I am progressing. But shame is such a depressing, morbid, horrible emotion that makes me feel embarrassed and disgusted, even repulsed. And I don’t think anyone with a problem that they often cannot control should feel ashamed. Especially when said person is trying to rise above it.

Really, I am just rambling here. But I hope I made some sense along the way.

Truth in Adverstising?

I don't know about you guys but this ad makes me wanna JUMP on the bandwagon...

Serious inquiries only, though, guys. I mean, if you only want to casually sing up for a weightloss fad, don't even bother.

The ad is scaring me. Particularly when she blows back up.

Not So Smart

So on Sunday, my friend and I hit up a local bridal expo. She's getting married next June and I am going to be a bridesmaid. Originally, I thought this was going to be tons of fun. And actually, it was fun if not educational, but I had no idea it would be so exhausting!

They don't just offer the normal stuff there. Scattered among the florists and caterers and photographers, there were things like sunless tanning spray and dental services. And one particular booth that grabbed my attention was a service called "Smart for Life."

Smart For Life is a cookie diet. Yep, that's right, you heard me: A COOKIE DIET. Sound too good to be true? That's because it is. In truth, in my opinion, it's a scam and a sham. A not-as-easy-as-you-think-way to drop some weight and even bordering on unhealthy.

How does it work?

They offer you "direct physician care, which is horseshit. I should pay them an exhorbitant fee for direct physician care? Do I not have health insurance for such things like blood work and body scans? And why would I let a strip-mall diet shop do such things? At 28, why should I be having an EKG? Are you kidding me? My regular doctor would smack the sense back into me.

Next? They teach you about their "behavior modification." Um, HELLO? Are you kidding me? What - am I joining a cult here? Fuck that. If I hadn't yet, this is when I would sprint for the door and call my local cult interventionist.

But going on -- what IS "behavior modification," pray tell? You don't eat.Think I'm kiddding? Seriously, you get these heinous (yes, I tried one) cookies to eat throughout the day (they taste like saltless bread and have a spongey texture) and are permitted a healthy dinner. This is the first phase of the program but they call it "maintenance." Are you hypoglycemic like I am? Or have a thyroid condition? Then you should consult your physician. But wait! I thought they HAD physicians.... Now I am confused!

Don't like cookies? Perhaps you would like to trade out for some tasteless soup or some powdery shakes. Mmmm... Can't you just taste the deliciousness...

And what if you have an active social life? Well, the sales reps solution to that was to not eat out if I am going to be social. What if I do business lunches? They ask that I don't.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Look, I am not doubting its validation. Clearly, as depicted by the photos of the white trashy customers, the program has worked for some. But it's a joke to me.

How much does it cost? The website doesn't say. Eff that. That basically means "too much" to me.

The reps at the booth meant well, I'm sure. But when I made mention of Jenny Craig, they were snarky and when I asked if they had done the program themselves, they had not. One rep did, but just to lose a "quick 10 pounds." Sure, why not? She was as skinny as my left arm. Ew. And these women are there to counsel the patients. First of all, they should not be referring to customers as patients. That gives me the heebie jeebies. Nor should they be counseling people without training or experience to back it up. That's insanity.

The whole thing was just really deplorable to me and it makes me sad that any asshole can start a weight loss business with a few bucks and a bad idea.

"Smart For Life" is DUMB, people. Just a dumb, stupid idea. I am offended by its very existence.

(FYI, the counselors at Jenny Craig are 99% former customers and receive extensive training and certifications before they are hired. Throughout their employment, they have to attend more training. I looked into it.)