CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

And then God said, "Let there be toast!"

Omigod.

So last night, after dinner, my friend Chris ordered strawberry shortcake and when it arrived at the table, I lit up on the inside and in my head, let out a shriek of glee.

For it was not your traditional shortcake, friends. It was, in fact, FRENCH TOAST:

COME ON! Who says dreams don't come true?

(FYI - I only had a bite but it was enough. I was delighted.)

I Want French Toast NOW

I hope this finds you all well. I am experiencing a minor problem tonight. And I thought if I wrote about it, it would somehow cleanse me of the burden. We shall see.

I was reading a friend's blog and clicked on a link where as I spotted the ad on the left.

Holy CRAP I want french toast. And like NOW. I can taste the syrup.

Somehow the lo-cal wrap I ate for dinner ain't cutting it.

I apologize if this has made you want the delicious french toast as well. But at least we suffer together, my friends.

And in other news, I ate healthy all day AND exercised. Lookit me bein' all responsible n' shit. Right now I am torn between a great episode of Star Trek (shut up- don't judge me) and watching the dog lick himself. It's miraculous actually.

Writing did not help. I still want the french toast.

Family Angst, Buffet Style

This is amusing:

buf·fet noun, verb, adjective -fet·ed, -fet·ing.

–noun

1. a blow, as with the hand or fist.

2. a violent shock or concussion.

3. a sideboard or cabinet for holding china, table linen, etc.

4. a meal laid out on a table or sideboard so that guests may serve themselves.

5. a counter, bar, or the like, for lunch or refreshments.

6. a restaurant containing such a counter or bar.

–verb (used with object)

1. to strike, as with the hand or fist.

2. to strike against or push repeatedly: The wind buffeted the house.

3. to contend against; battle.

–adjective

1. consisting of food, refreshments, etc., laid out on tables or buffets from which guests or customers serve themselves: a buffet supper; buffet service.

So essentially, I gather, the same word that represents and all-you-can-eat foodfest is also a synonym for knocking someone on their ass.

Let's all take a moment to really enjoy that idea. Lord knows a good buffet will knock ME on MY ass. And that is, to be frank, a lot of ass.

Yesterday, my family congregated for father's day. Excuse #157 for us all all meet up and eat up. Which is what holidays are about, you know. Well... that and presents. Let's not kid ourselves.

There was this buffet we used to go to when my brother and I were living at home at a Mexican place. My God, they had a make-your-own-donut stand and to an 8 year old, that's pretty much heaven, right? I'd chow down on waffles and eggs and bacon and donuts and I never had a second thought about it. It was just a treat we got to experience from time to time when dad felt like taking us out.

I never really enjoy myself at a buffet anymore, though. I feel watched. I feel like everyone is watching the fat girl go to and from the line, curious to see if she wisely chooses salad bar or piles on bacon and eggs benedict with a side of belgian waffles. And if she picks the crap-food, "that explains it." And if she picks the salad, then "good for her." ...For the record, I had a bit of the seafood bar (shrimp and crab cocktail), an omelette with sun-dried tomato and onion, grapes, 2 pieces of bacon and then this Korean rib thing I could not resist. And I cut off the fatty parts, per my mom's advice.

My grandfather- my dad's dad- is the one we all watch. He's a diabetic, overweight and he made several trips to the buffet stations, each time returning with full, high-stacked plates. He is my justification; I will never eat like that. And he is also my examples; eat like that and you will get like that.

I get a reprieve for Summer. No big holidays. July 4th is not celebrated with family so it's just a waiting game til we break the fast on Yom Kippur in the Fall. Which is a joke, by the way, since we aren't that religious and none of us actually fast.

Healthy Soda?

Okay, so I keep saying I am going to give up soda but look, I really LIKE Diet Pepsi. I'm an addict. I admit it. I keep reading all this stuff people send me about the health reasons to give up soda, about alternatives and so on. But... well.... no.

Anyway, anyone heard of this stuff? Or tried it? http://www.fizzylizzy.com/

                                 

You Heard it Here First (Unless You Heard it Somewhere Else)

I was enjoying some truly TASTELESS lo-carb bagles recently and thought to myself, who comes up with this crap? Look, you want a bagel, eat a bagel. If the carbs are too much, grab a ricecake. That's my suggestion. If you can't make a bagel that is low carb AND tastes at least halfway decent, you should be strung up in the town square.

Oh, I feel passionately about my bread products. You don't want to mess with me on this.

Other foods I think should be low-cal AND delicious: Nacho cheese doritos, gnochi, Krispy Kreme donuts, french fries and anything made with sourdough.

You let me know when that's invented and I'll be the happiest girl in all the land.

In the meantime, I'm hugely curious about this "Fiber Gourmet" who is sending me some of their lo-cal pasta to try. That's been the funniest perk to me since starting this blog. People wanna send me stuff. FREE stuff! To EAT! I mean, is there a downside to that? And really- low calorie pasta? Cross my fingers that it tastes good cause I'll be sleeping in a big pile of it, cuddling my jar of Trader Joe's organic tomato sauce and dreaming of Ponte Vecchio.

                                    

Mmmmm... Milkshake

Okay, so you know how a lot of people say "I can't eat fast food. It makes me so sick." Oh come ON, how many times do you need to tell me? But seriously, I admit it -- I heart the fast food. I do. Which is not to say I eat it all the time, not often at all in fact (I do know better) but from time to time, I gotta get me some fries and a milkshake.

I love milkshakes. In fact, I'm looking at my Cranberry juice right this minute and wishing it would miraculously turn into a strawberry shake. If only my magical powers were in tact tonight.

A little alternative to the fast food milkshake courtesy of Hungry Girl:

Ingredients:
3/4 cup Breyers Double Churn Free fat-free ice cream, French Chocolate
1 No Sugar Added Fudgsicle pop (the 40-calorie single version)
1/2 pack 100 Calorie Packs Oreo Thin Crisps, slightly crushed
2 tsp. Hershey's Lite chocolate syrup
1/2 - 3/4 tsp. instant c offee (depending on how much you like coffee flavoring)
1/2 tsp. Coffee-mate Original Fat Free powdered creamer, dissolved in 2 tbsp. warm water
1 no-calorie sweetener packet (like Splenda)
3/4 cup crushed ice (about 4 - 6 cubes)

Directions:
Combine the chocolate syrup, instant coffee, and sweetener with the Coffee-mate mixture. Add 2 tbsp. of cold water, and then pour into the blender. Cut the fudge pop into pieces (removing the stick), and add the pieces to the blender as well. Then add the ice cream and crushed ice. Blend briefly at low-to-medium speed until just mixed. Spoon mixture into a glass, and then stir in the cookie pieces. If needed, place in the freezer for 5 minutes to firm up. Then enjoy!

Serving Size: entire recipe
Calories: 253
Fat: 2g
Sodium: 222mg
Carbs: 59g
Fiber: 8.5g
Sugars: 29g
Protein: 7g

Try it, You'll Like it

I didn't think I could drink another DROP of water so my mommy bought me a present:

It's delicious. You gotta try it.

Also, at the doctor's office today they weighed me. And not that it counts for having come off while I was sick but still- I lost about 6 pounds in 4 days. Oof. 

Strange Desires

Matzah.

Good lord, I can't get enough of it. With butter, with peanut butter and jam, dry...

It's really baffling too because actually, when it's Passover and I HAVE to eat Matzah for 8 days, I basically would rather put a fork in my eyeball.

But yeah - for dinner last night? Matzah. And tonight? Again- matzah. And I'm planning my matzah laden breakfast for tomorrow morning.

Houston, we have a problem. LOL.

Anyway, it's not a horrible thing. I mean, it's a carb fest all the same (many people assume it's better for you than bread but that's not necessarily so) but it's far better for me than, say, gorging myself on pasta or sugary fun like cookies.

Of course, I should mention that yesterday I must have put away like 15 red vines.

It's been a stress-filled, sleep-lacking, horrible, horrible couple of weeks and I have to say, I've been putting tons of shit into my body I know I shouldn't.

We all have to go through these times, I suppose. I just feel like I am always going through them!

Drink Up, Kiddies

So I never drink enough water. A soda and iced tea addict to the core, I would prefer to order either at a restaurant rather than drink the water they put on the table. All day, a bottle of water sits on my desk and I drink a Diet soda instead. No idea why this happens.

Anyway, found this article on the matter- thought I would pass it on. Made me feel recharged...

Health Benefits of Drinking Water, 2/01/2008

by Jen Kersey

We all know that we should be drinking more water.  But why is water so important for our bodies?

First of all we are lovely and very fashionable bags of water walking around!  No joke we are made up of primarily water, around 55-75% at any given time.  In order to keep the cells within our bodies working properly we must keep them hydrated. 

The best source of hydration for these cells is, you guessed it, water! 

Did you know that during normal breathing you "breathe out" two to four cups of water each day? 

You can also sweat out copious amounts of water while walking down to the bus stop, even in cold weather.

Okay, so we know our bodies use a lot of water, but how about some more reasons WHY you should drink water?

Water Eliminates Toxins and Wastes from the Body // Water acts like a shower or a bath for our internal organs.  It cleanses away the dirty by-products that accumulate in our bodies.  By-products are created by the day to day work of our body's cells, through the breakdown of food and drinks that we ingest, and also by the toxins in the environment that we breathe in or absorb through our skin.  Our bodies also "retain fluids."  In order to release these retained fluids (usually due to too much sodium intake) you have to flush them out with MORE water.  *Sounds kind of awkward that the way to get rid of retaining fluids is to drink more water, but it's true!* So drink your water daily to keep your "insides" sparkly clean.

Water Maintains PH-Balance in the Body // What is PH?  PH is the amount of hydrogen particles that make up a sample of liquid.  The more hydrogen per unit of liquid, the more acidic, the less hydrogen the more basic it becomes.  A great example of acidity is flavor of grapefruits versus the flavor of milk.  Citrus fruits contain more acid and have a very sharp flavor.  Milk on the other hand is creamy and contains a softer flavor.  That is the difference between an acid versus a base.

Okay let's continue.  PH has a lot to do in how our bodies function normally.  If the PH is too acidic, it can set your body up for infection and degenerative diseases.  Some micro-organisms flourish in higher PH environments, so by drinking your water you can keep unwanted acids and unwanted germs out of your body.  Being at an acidic PH level can also set your body up for degenerative diseases.  Your cells can actually be damaged the high levels of Hydrogen floating around in your system.  By staying at your ideal PH you can prevent many health disorders.  Water is a natural cure for disease!  Who would have thought that?

Water CAN Make You Glow // By balancing our PH levels and keeping ourselves hydrated, water can restore skin health.  By keeping yourself hydrated and keeping those unwanted toxins from accumulating inside of our bodies, you can keep or improve the look of your skin.  Your skin will be softer, fuller, and more radiant/glowing.
 
Water is THE KEY to LOSING WEIGHT // The secret is out!  Water is the key ingredient in weight loss.  Water can increase your metabolism by 3%.  That may not sound like much, but it actually really is, over time.  If a woman can stay at her desired weight eating approximately 2200 calories a day (moderately active, in their 20s, around 165-220 lbs) and drinks enough water every day, she can burn an additional 24,000 calories per year (almost burning 7 lbs a year alone just by drinking water).

The area in our brains that signifies thirst is also the same place that alerts us when we are hungry.  This area in the brain is called the hypothalamus; it is our body's core regulation center.  Sometimes, slight thirst can be confused by our bodies for hunger.  Hence the snacking mechanisms we have integrated in our systems.  By drinking more water you will snack less!

How Much Water Do I NEED to Drink?

We have all heard the 8 – 8 ounce glasses of water per day (64 oz.) is the key to keeping hydrated.  Well, that is actually a minimum.  You should take your current body weight and divide that by 2.  Then drink in ounces that number of water per day. 

Example:  A Woman that Weights 180 pounds should be drinking 90 ounces of water per day to increase her metabolism and get the health benefits of drinking water.

You need to increase your water intake if you exercise on a daily basis.  On "The Biggest Loser" we were trained that while you are exercising you should drink 1 to 2 'normal' 12-16 ounce bottle of water minimum during 1 hour of exercise.  The warmer the day, the more strenuous activity, we were advised to drink 1 bottle every 15 minutes!  I would suggest for an hour at the gym to brink a 1 liter bottle of water and sip on that throughout the hour.  Make sure you have a cup of water before you head to the gym and re-hydrate afterwards as well.

Just remember next time you're thirsty, grab a bottle of water instead of a bottle of soda!

You are helping yourself in the following ways:

Improving the Quality and Look of Your Skin
Regulating your Appetite and Increasing your Metabolism
Releasing Waste Products and Toxins from Your Body
Decreasing Risks of Cancers, Kidney Stones, High Cholesterol, and High Blood Pressure
Preventing and Reducing Headaches
Decreasing Fluid Retention (Feeling Bloated)
Boosting Your Energy Levels!

CAUTION:  If you have kidney problems, please follow your doctor's recommendation on fluid intake.  There are some medical conditions that require less fluid intake due to an inability to process the fluid through the body's filtration system.  One potential but rare side effect of increased fluid intake is hyponatremia (low electrolytes).  Always remember to seek the advice of a physician before trying any new diet or exercise program!!

It Never Rains in Southern California

You know, there is just something about the rain. Mostly, I think it appeals to the romantic in me. I like the pitter-patter of it, the rhythm - it's really almost like music to me. Outside my bedroom window, while I try to sleep, it pitter-pats on the metal overhang making a sort of hollow sound that I've gotten used to and now enjoy. On the road beyond my apartment building, the cars swish by, making a deep splashing sound I like that reminds me the world is buzzing. I take comfort in all of that. I really do like the rain.

The rain also makes me think of cuddling under a blanket or playing with the dog. It makes me think of hot chocolate and cookies or warm soup. Tonight, it made me think of the french onion soup on the menu but I had the salad instead. An excellent, delicious salad in fact, but I still think of the soup with its melted cheese on top. I also thought of the potato and onion tart but had the grilled shrimp instead. Still ate the side of rice, by the way.

Came home, watched a good show on PBS and enjoyed... a doughnut. Oh, I don't even like doughnuts but there it was, glistening and somehow saying "it's raining! Have a treat!"

I shake my fist at you, infuritating doughnut!