CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

A Very Happy & Healthy Birthday to Yours Truly

So I turned 32. And luckily, I was too busy, stressed out and crazed to care. Last year, I was pretty traumatized by entering my thirties. Actually turning 30 held no power over me, but somehow, 31 was like this asshole looming on the horizon.

And now I am 32. Which, really, feel no older than 31. And like I said, no feeling about it. 

But as I continue to remind you lovely, patient readers, I had a pretty scary year and I felt the need to celebrate. But not just celebrate me and my day; what I really wanted to do was celebrate my frienships. 

So I thought to myself, "I should do something to toast to our continuing good health." And to that end, I threw a supremely health conscious festivity...

For example, I provided nutritious snacks:

See? There's fruit in there. 

And I also provided beverages rife with vitamins and valuable minerals:

Not only is there DIET soda, but as you can see, a fruit AND veggie option...

And of course, a calcium-rich main course, because it does your body good:

Here's to healthy bones!

I think my friends were really grateful for a new spin on Saturday night partying. 

250 Smiling Faces

I spent this Memorial Weekend with the teens I volunteer for at a local university campus for their annual, regional convention.

All I can think of now are numbers. For example:

4: Days the convention lasted.

250: Kids in attendance.

12: Grown ups present - my family; my laughter. 

1: Amazing roommate and cuddle buddy.

10: Beautiful girls present from my chapter. 

9: Hours of sleep accumulated. 

I can't begin to count how much I laughed, cried, loved, hugged, smiled... This was a truly fabulous weekend. Kudos to the kids who planned it. So young and so strong and smart. They blew me away. 

I continue to learn more from them than I could ever hope to teach in return.

 

Oh, Vegas, City of Sin

Had a GREAT time this past weekend with three of my girlfriends in Vegas. There was no focused celebration or reason to go other than we needed to escape California for a couple days and where better to do it?

The thing about Vegas is, for me, I feel liberated the second the car crosses the California/Nevada border. Maybe sooner. Maybe from the moment we hit the road and turned the Vegas mix on the iPod. There's nothing like a good music mix to get you in the mood. I am, as it happens, the master of the mix. I am totally "DJ Jazzy Jew."

Nothing annoys me more than play-by-play blogs so here are just some photo highlights and some fabulous quotes I took down over the weekend. (I was named the quote-book-keeper.) I bet you can tell which things were said under the influence and which were stated out of sheer genius...

It might help to know that by the end of the weekend, we'd all earned new nicknames. You'll pick up on that...

Deb: We never found sugar daddies…

Me: That's ok- we found Kristy the cocktail waitress!

 

 

Me: Wanna smell my foot? (As I pretty much put it right in front of her nose because I am disgusting)

Deb: Smells like vegas.

 

Deb: I'm gonna have some FRENCH TOAST (Imagine Leslie Mann in the 40 Year Old Virgin)

Frat boy passing by us to his buddy: Dude, I totally want french toast now.

Steph:  Dear lobster, by the time I finished eating you, I was hungry again.  Hugs n' kisses, Liberace

 

 

Me, after tasting Steph’s nasty mojito: Dude, my makeup remover has less alcohol than this. Shit, turpentine is more palatable.

 

Deb: Guys, I wanna have coke bottles in my hair by the end of this weekend

Me: I want a microwave burrito.

Deb: There are many subtle layers of HO. Crispy, extra crispy, or like some deep fried ho.

Deb: Omigod, it smells like Vegas. So gross. I love it.

Deb, upon seeing our beautiful room: It’s like Jesus lives here.

 

 
Deb, taking a swig of the Grand Lux strawberry martini: It burns on the way down.

Steph to well-dressed dudes: What are you guys in town for?

Deb: The convention of awesomeness.

 

Deb, to the taxi driver: What's your name?

Taxi driver: Daniel

Melissa: Daniel? That's my therapist’s name.

Taxi Driver: Maybe I could be your second therapist.

(seems like a good idea, no?)

Steph: Melissa I have something for you. It's a red flag.

Me: My Vegas is throbbing

Sam, new friend from the pool:  I date guys who take steroids because they hate themselves.

Me (via Facebook): Dear Vegas, Steph is drunk. I got a new hat. What up?

 

 

Deb: Melissa said “Drink, don't think.” Man, the rules get flipped in Vegas.

 

 

So Long to 2009

I'm stealing Rory's Facebook status:

"Dear 2009 I didn't mean to do this on Facebook but I think it is time
to see other people... Sure we had fun, some laughs along the way,
but I think it is time for us to move on.
I mean, change is hard but it's not you--it's me."

Granted, 2009 was not my worst year ever (2005? I'm looking at you!) but it ranks right up there. This was a tough year and I gotta tell ya - I'm walking away from it with a smile on my face. Partially because I'm still drunk off the emotion of a fabulous night last night and partially because I am optimistic for a better year in 2010.

I know a lot of people don't like to get caught up in new year's. I hear people say "it's just another night" and sometimes, I've been one of those people. But these last couple years, I've taken to looking at it differently. It's come to represent a fresh start; a new beginning. Somehow it's like you've been forgiven for a short series of transgressions and you get to start clean. Does that make sense? It's a big, convoluted metaphor, I suppose. But it works for me!

I looked back through my blog, wanting to check up on any resolutions I'd made for this year but I guess I only made them in my mind - I couldn't find an entry. That's probably due to an old mindset of mine in which I like to whine "I resolve not to make any resolutions" but I could have sworn... But anyway...

I'm sure there was resolve to do something about my health. And I gotta pat myself on the back for that one -- it took almost the whole year to get my ass in gear but almost 30 pounds shed and more-to-come makes me feel a sense of accomplishment I've not known in a long time.

It's likely I made some resolution about relationships. Maybe even to have one. Well, lord knows I did my fair share of dating (badly) in 2009 but I'm ending the year happy and in progress. I'll leave it at that.

My finances are not stellar but they're improved -- I'm centimeters closer to paying off the debt that will continue to plague me for years and years... I saw my best friend TWICE this year (she lives far away - this is a big deal)... I turned 30 this year and I have admit I loved it... I didn't really move up the corporate ladder this year but I stayed employed and am thankful... I feel closer to my parents these days, which is astoundingly nice... My true friends continue to be there for me and thank goodness for that...

2009? You sucked a lot but you weren't without a few highlights.

Let's just make 2010 a little more highlight heavy, kids.

 

Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving!

I may be a Grinch when it comes to December's holiday insanity but I happen to LOVE Thanksgiving.

Primarily, I love it because of my mom, who always outdoes herself, even when she claims to just be "keeping it low-pro" (like this year).

One of the nicest things about moving out of my parents house is how nice it feels to go BACK there. Not always, mind you, but when I am feeling my worst, all I want is mommy... and for someone ELSE to do my laundry (although typically, I always want someone else to do it).

At Thanksgiving, the house feels especially warm. I love the sights and smells of the day - all the flowers and food put out. It's marvelous.

After my parents' house, I most always end up at Gigi and Dan's because after my mom, no one holds a candle to Gigi's Thanksgiving spread. And homegirl makes it all from SCRATCH. I assure you, it's remarkable. It's delicious. And if nothing else, it's ALL ABOUT THIS DELECTABLE ITEM:

 

THAT would be RICOTTA QUICHE, my friends, and IT. IS. DELICIOUS. I happen to know it's already made and Gigi lives close enough that I am tempted to drive over there right now and get me some... but decorum is keeping me well-behaved for now.

Oh I can taste it now.

And as I embark and a bold, new diet plan (more on that coming soon, I swear), this will be a perfectly fabulous way to say good-bye to food-I-should-not-eat-because-I-can't-stop...

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Some truly amazing friends, family and co-workers (some of whom ARE friends now); employment; a roof over my head and a landlord that finally intervened with the crap new neighbors; books, music and a renewed love of sketching; among other things I think of frequently.

I feel my brother deserves a special,specific shout-out. He's been a trooper for me this year. And that goes for my best friends, Casey and Jaime, for their continued support and positive attitudes. Even  though I don't see them often enough, I always know they are there for me.

And lastly, my gift to you, I am thankful for this song by Michael Buble because every time I hear it, I can't help but smile and do a little dance of joy, even if I'm sitting down.

Fabulous Friday

Well, if yesterday was "thinking Thursday," I declare today a rather fab Friday.

Excellent, excellent dinner party  surrounded by new and interesting people.  Thanks to Lauren for planning and hosting.

Not much else to say. Just one question, though: Am I the only one who wants very badly the hose down Robert Pattinson? And brush his hair?

Hey. Old. Friend.

Had a lovely, lovely dinner tonight with an old friend from the Arizona days at the wonderful Cafe Des Artistes (hint: caprese salad and the artichoke hearts).

Always nice to see an old friend but what makes me happiest is that we stuff to talk about. You know how that goes -- you see someone you haven't seen in a while and once you get past the "what have you been up to" material, it gets a little had to make conversation... But we had such a nice time and I'm excited to see her again next time she swings back through town.

She's totally reading this -- so I am only going to say nice things. ;)

In college, she was assigned to be my mentor in the musical theater program and we became good friends and it was amazing when I moved to New York to transfer to NYU and she was there (she'd graduated from Arizona by then) -- it was great to have a friend in the city. I knew no one. She is part of my first memories of New York: the normal-looking lady who pooped on the sidewalk outside of Bradlee's in Union Square and the mastrubating homeless man. LOL. My first days in New York were clearly not indicative of how much I wold grow to love Manhattan. FYI, I threatened to drop out of NYU and move back to Tucson more than once in my first semester.

Actually, I guess my most treasured memory of us is a charity concert we performed in together in Tucson. We sang the two big duets from Side Show and kicked some major ass, might I add. The fundraiser was for a gay choir in Tucson (I think?) and we figured everyone thought we were a couple and we giggled about it. We auctioned ourselves off to sing a second duet after our first and raised additional money.

I have a picture from a rehearsal:

 

And when I think of her, I also think of "Blood Brothers," a musical she did while we were at U of A and she blew me away in the lead role. I fell in love with that show, despite it's very dark overtones...

GREAT closing number on that show, by the way. If you're at all into Broadway, check this out:

Linda, fantastic to see you. Have a safe trip back up to NoCal and see you in December!

My Life as a Tomato

So on the left there, you can kind of see how red I am because the pale skin on the right is my norm. I'm BURNT. I've had a little sunburn here and there but this is ridiculous. In a couple spots, it even looks like my skin has been cut or something, as if the burn has actually broken skin (can that happen? I have no idea.) and that's where it stings the most, of course.

I'm trying to be a sport about it -- this is totally my fault. A chronic night person, I don't even OWN sunblock so I didn't think to get any for my football game outing yesterday. I put on longer sleeves and wore pants and figured I'd survive it.

But going to the game was fun and USC kicked San Jose's ass. 

And in other news, being this charred was an excellent excuse to sit on the couch all day and drink cold, cold water and treat myself to frozen yogurt. I got some work done (this seems to be a wretched, new habit of mine - bringing work home) and read a little bit...  Despite my tomato-y-ness, it was a nice day. 

This weekend, my best friend is coming to visit. There's a new little countdown clock at the bottom of the left-hand column here where it says "Chaverot," which is the hebrew word for girlfriends. As of this post, four days and two hours... I'm living on this anticipation. You have no idea.

Hey, and some strange, good news? As a sort of joke, I weighed myself when I got home from the football game yesterday, and even though we'd stopped for lunch on the way home, I was 1.5 pounds lighter. LOL.

Response

Kevin asks: "Can you elaborate on said "funny little bathroom incident?" (mentioned in my recent prom entry)

Why yes, Kevin. Yes I can. LOL. But to do it, I had to steal one of the photos on your blog.

Now I think that is Kayla on the left and Michelle on the right...

So Cammy and I were in the bathroom in the lobby. We arrived at about 6:55pm and they weren't opening up the elevator (to go up to the penthouse) for ten more minutes. We took the opportunity to pee. TMI? And while we were washing our hands, we encountered Michelle, who was waiting for a free stall. We noticed her bright pink dress. And I loved her necklace.

Then we exited to the lobby. And about ten feet from where we stood was Kayla. Now, we both wear glasses and both did not have them on so we could NOT figure out how Michelle had dashed out of the bathroom, ahead of us, and ended up across the lobby. We were sober and our eyes were already playing tricks on us...

So that is the story Kevin. It's probably a little anti-climactic at this point. But yeah- I counted six or seven girls in that hot little dress.

No one was as cute as MY date, though:

The socks are the clincher, no?

It Was Prom-Fabulous

Like, omigod! I totally went to the Blogger Prom and it was, like, totally 80s themed and totally fab, kids.

So the short-version details are that it was a Bloggers only event at The Andaz in West Hollywood - their rooftop lounge, it was from 7-10, the food, drink, admission and goodie bags were all free, you had to be dressed like a cheeseball 80s adolescent and they had a shit-ton of sponsors and contributors-- it just blew me away!

I was invited with a guest so I took the first person I thought of that I KNEW would get into the theme with me and enjoy it with me - my friend Cammy. She had the most fabulous $20 dress from Forever 21 and I think I liked her flourescent pink socks with black stilettos the best (the pro. photographer took a pic of them but those photos arent up yet)... I had to improv. with my outfit and accesorized my fave black dress with bangles and a wide belt and flats with bows. My eyes and hair were the best part - I really think the side-pony and teased bangs need to makea comeback cause I rocked that hair.

Incdientally, all the photos from the event are being posted to the FLICKR group if you wanna see the whole lot.  

The event was at this new hotel in WeHo - the Andaz, which was very nice and pretty swanky (and, as Cammy said "pretty swanky for a whole lot of non-swanky people). The party was in the penthouse lounge and outdoor area which coulda been lit better after dark but was pretty awesome anyway and the food was delicious (when does free food suck? almost never)... I think if I'd had less class, I'd have torn up that shrimp and avocado ceviche and downed about 13 more of the "Prom Punch Jungle Juice." The really clever bit was that Verizon Wireless was one of the sponsors and provided all these fabulous little laptops, stationed all over the locale so that all us Bloggers could blog AT the event and stay tuned in. In theory, this would have been more fun had I known my Typepad login and password by heart but I trust my internet software for such things. Oh well. It didn't stop me from tweeting at the event, of course... I'm a twittering fool. I also have to give a shout out to the cheese station because that was INSANELY delicious. I don't know how or when but some day this woman is coming to my home to do a cheese tasting party for me and my friends- she was adorable and I especially loved her aged brick spread (the "sex cheese") and the bleu drizzled wirth apricot honey. HELLO?! Amazing.

I guess I was bummed not to win one of what seemed like DOZENS of raffle prizes (and some really fantastic prizes there - WTG, prom committee) but the swag bag (the goody bag) was a pretty amazing reward. Check out what they sent everyone home with: free Pinkberry, free entry to the Viper Room, Sun chips (full bags!), Pepsi, a pretty sexy lube goody bag, chocolates, Carls Jr. freebies, season 1 of the Big Bang Theory, hair products, vodka, certificates, vouchers, handouts, bags... it was a pretty sick bag. I am stunned by what they pulled together.

What would be my critique? More integration. For starters, I'd handout or display a program. I know there's a listing in the blog online but I would have liked to see a list somewhere in the room of the bloggers participating in the event; something like that. I would have liked to find a way to approach people more - I felt like everyone really just kept to who they knew and/or came with. Another idea to get people chatting and participating would have been a costume contest. Like "most cheesy dress" or "best use of tafetta." To tie in the blogger promotion theme, I might have encouraged people to bring a one-sheet on their blog or business cards to put out on a table or something.

But I hate to critique at all because really, it was a stellar event and I am so flattered to have been invited. What a fun time! Why hasn't someone done this before? Us bloggers need a union. LOL. A network, if anything.

Oh, but one lass criticism: ORIGINALITY, people! Hello? Can we all remember for a moment what attire was like in the 80s? I wanted to see far more taffeta and poofly sleeves. More fishnets and flourescents and bad linen suits. Some people really wussed out on the costumes. Some people didn't even bother to try. Oh sure, 7 girls came in the same fuscia dress from Forever 21 but at least they made it work for the theme. But I'm not joking- check this out:

No joke - by the end of the night, you couldn't even tell them apart and it was HILARIOUS. And FYI, the two girls on the right? Not even related but shit did that throw us off in a funny little bathroom incident...

Like I said this morning, as I sorted through my goody bag: At long last all this blogging (I’ve been blogging since 2001, people) has paid off. I got free vodka and cupcakes. Score!