CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Chapter Congress

So if you've been sleeping under a rock -- or we're just not friends on Facebook -- you know I volunteer for a non-profit youth group called BBYO. We're 1 region in an international organization, made up of hundreds of kids in dozens of chapters across SoCal.

It's been a while since the region came together. There are usually weekends and events and so on and so forth, but summer, I've learned, is slow time. I can't remember if we got this quiet when I was a kid in this group but anyway, it's been a struggle all summer to keep my girls afloat and active with virtually no events for them to attend and very lax meetings.

Today I was strangely excited for a new regional event called Chapter Congress. When the Los Angeles and San Diego chapters all come together to vote on issues, cover regional business and meet with counterparts (chapter board/regional  board).

I'll stop boring you with all the semantics - I know this is starting to read like a 6th grade book report.

What I mean to say here is just this:  some of these kids blow me away. Some of them are so bright, so talented or creative; some are so passionate about their purpose in the group; some of them impress me with indelible kindness or great humor. 

I wish the world would stop and pay more attention to teenagers sometime. They obviously have their drama and fleeting (or, not-so-fleeting) moments of immaturity but in this case, I can vouch for how GOOD these people are. They have a lot to offer. I have to tell you sometimes I'd rather be around them than anyone else. I don't mean that as a stab at friends or family -- I just want you to understand how warm and happy I feel when I spend time with them.

Mind you - when it's been 3 days of cold showers and shouting at them to "GO TO BED ALREADY!" I will likely sing a different tune. So please remind me to come back and read this entry.

I had lunch today with three of the girls from my chapter and it was such a nice moment when for JUST a moment, I forgot they were kids and I was a "grown up" and we were all smiling and laughing. 

Less so, by the way, when two of the kids were playing tonsil-hockey a row away from me on the busride home. That brought me RIGHT back to adulthood and also, right into "EW! GET A ROOM!" and "DOES YOUR FATHER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?!"

Oh Monday, I dread you. I'm worn out and I could use one more day...

Announcements

Hi all...

As you may or may not have noticed, my other blog is gone. I was giving it some thought and decided that as my readership is growing so much more now than it has before, and as I am doing even more online networking, I wanted to just have the single online homebase. So while this blog will STILL VERY MUCH focus on my self-image issues and food/health topics, weight loss struggles, etc., this will also now be merged with my personal musings.

It's still very much "Confessions of a Fat Girl" and just now all in one convenient blog! And FYI, all of my posts from "Other Musings" are in here now - the archives are now one.

Hope you will all stick with me - I've come to think of you all as friends in a way.

And as always, I encourage you check out my friends and colleagues in my Favorites, add me on Twitter, etc.

Have a great afternoon!

Bite me, Facebook

So I am on Facebook, procrastinating work, playing games, just minding my own business when I start to notice the little ads that pop up on the left side of the site  every time you click over to a new page. "Overweight at 29?" "Out of shape at 29?" "Need to lose some weight at 29?" "Wanna slit your wrists because these ads are depressing at 29?"

Well come ON!? Are you kidding me? Three ads in a row with MY age on them -- I gotta believe they are somehow funneling my profile info. to do that, right? I'm not a computer genius but I am pretty savvy and I am pretty sure that is a do-able program. And, by the way, to which I say "Fuck you, Facebook!"

"Need to cancel your Facebook account but can't because you're addicted to online social networking at 29?"

Questions...

1. Is it possible to sweat when it is too COLD? Seriously, sick of sweating out a pool when I'm asleep, I've been sleeping in my bed with the A/C at 60 degrees. I'm not even kidding. And yet, sometimes, I still wake up sweaty and gross. I am the annoyed.

2. What if I only ate when I was truly hungry? Think about it - how often does one eat because they have to, or are supposed to, or think they NEED to... What if I only ate when I truly FELT hungry....?

3. On occasion, I've been known to skip breakfast. My mom always says "that's not good for you." This isn't really a question as much as I just wanted to point out that it annoys me when she says that. How is it NOT good to NOT eat when I am NOT hungry? (See #2)

Just a Quick Note

Yesterday, I decided all the problems of the world-- or at least MY world-- would come to an end if I just cut my hair.

So I did! It was looong, people. To the base of my spine. And now? To the base of my shoulders.

It's so SHORT?

Do I like it? Yes. I'm not nuts for it but it made me feel pretty FABULOUS doing it, donating it, and I like running my fingers through it and mussing it.

That is all.

Boooo to the Hissss

Who else is in SoCal? What is UP with this weather?

Dear, sweet, GLOBAL WARMING.... Cut it out, man. Seriously.

Wore a sweater to work today. What a bad, bad idea in the morning. Then my co-worker, who has the most curious internal-thermometer in 'er, bitched and moaned how hot she was and the air got pumped up. I am pretty sure by mid-afternoon, you could see every nipple in the office at attention.

Oh yeah, I said it. I am a lady if nothing else. And don't you forget it.

And anyway - moving right along - I am so behind on my blogging but work's been hell and dealing with a broken laptop keyboard takes far more patience than I have. All the same, I felt I should stop in just now, gripe for you all (you know you love it), and make a lot of promises I don't intend to keep.

Sounds shockingly like an ex of mine, by the way.

As I am out of underwear (didn't I say I was a lady?), I gotta go toss a load in the wash and head to karate but I do, I do, I DO promise (really!) more juicy tidbits soon.

Can Emotion Burn Calories?

I'm up so late tonight because I can't sleep. I am going to a concert tomorrow night that I have been waiting all my life to see. I'm not the ginormous music lover I used to be but this music takes me back over 14 years when I discovered it and I cannot wait. So I am positively energized with excitement right now. So much so I am petrified something horrendous will happen that will keep me from going.

Hey-- no one ever said I was an optimist. So sue me.

This reminds me of Harry in When Harry Met Sally when he admits he reads the end of the book first in case he dies before he finishes. Well, I'm not THAT insane but same concept. You know what I mean.

I washed an aboslute shitload of dishes tonight and I am considering it exercise. Any activity after which your body hurts from repetitive motion should count as exercise. In which case, I should be having sex two or three times a day... I'm just sayin...

(Right about now, half of you are feeling sorry for me that I think of sex as just a repetitive motion and the other half of you are feeling my pain.)

So anyway, I'm mostly writing this because I don't have anything else to do. I worked a ten hour day with no break and should be exhausted but I'm just not. All I can do is think and smile, think and smile.

I was thinking earlier today, actually, that one of the good things about being broke might turn out to be that I'll have to go without food soon if I don't start being more careful. Oh you laugh but I am only half-kidding...

I was thinking earlier today that I really did love my yoga class last Saturday night. It wasn't so much a class as it was a little sampling of a class courtesy of my neighbor (she's an instructor) but I really did love it and I want to do it again. What's stopping me? Why do I do that?

I was thinking tonight that I will not be buying the Jenny Craig Beef Strogonoff anymore. It was really gross. I tried to think of a more cerebral word than "gross" but sometimes a word like that just suits my needs. GROSS. I threw it out and had a BBQ chicken pizza. I had one last night too, by the way. It's my new fave but is sadly not filling enough. Anyway, I would recommend it regardless. But yeah, avoid the nasty beef.

"Nasty beef" sounds like some dirty slang term, by the way.

I am thinking I might be getting a little loopy and should try one more time to get some sleep before I say something truly embarassing and scare all my readers away...

Seasons Greetings

Wishing one and all a happy, healthy and safe holiday!

I Seek Validation

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Untitled Dribble

So I am in class and I have to tell you, I am thankful for these desks. In every previous class, where I've had to sit in one of these fold up n' out desk things, my ass has been too wide and I have to squeeze it in. In addition, it doesnt help how my stomach and chest stick out and so when I fold the desktop down over my lap, there is no arm room. It's been horrible and quite embarassing in some classes. But anyway, in this class, the flippy desks are roomy and I am quite comfortable. On the first day, I sat down and was HUGELY relieved.

My Halloween costume came yesterday and I tried it on last night. Horrendous. Oh, it's a cute outfit, it's a GREAT costume, but my boobs are too big for the way the dress is cut. And I don't know what to do. I'm determined to wear it, though, rest assured. I'm going to alter it or add a belt or SOMETHING to make it work. I've put too much thought into it by now. But the problem is, is that my chest takes up torso space (in fabric) and so the waist line ends up hitting me in a hideous spot, right below my breasts. So my ass looks huge (not that my ass isn't) and my tits look ugly-- look, it's just not pretty.

You know, if I lose 50 pounds before Halloween, all will be well. Let's not worry.

What? You don't think I can do it? Oh, ok...

Yeah, the diet could be going better. The only reason I am sad I cancelled Jenny Craig last week is because it means, in my mind, I can't cancel this week.

Ladies and gentlemen, I need more options. Bring it.

182 people visited this site today. That's insane. Over 14,500 hits to date. Also insane.