CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL

Social Media Pet Peeves

As it happens, I do like to bitch and moan sometimes (ok, I do it often) and this week, I was reflecting on how much Facebook, Twitter and the like have changed the way we socialize. I was thinking that soon, someone was going to have to intehrate online etiquette into Emily Post's lesson plan.

Keeping in mind that these are derived of my own beliefs and opinions, here are some "case studies" on the matter which might inspire your online etiquette:

Twitter stalkers. This one time, I saw a celebrity at a sushi restaurant and I tweeted about it. Within days, legions of his fans were following me on Twitter. Next thing I knew, a couple of them were wishing me a good morning AND a good night. EVERY. DAY. It was incredibly irritating. Mostly because they were on another continent and as they told me good morning, I was going to bed... They got blocked. They got the hint. 

Pinterest loons. I realize the very nature of the site is to share things with people but we should all be out in the internets, finding unique things to bring to the table. If you're going to sign on and just repin every single thing I pin, you're missing the point. You're also annoying me. FYI, that's how I came to make this pin.

Furthermore, random company or person, do not tweet, direct message, or pin something that implies you are awesome and I should follow you. That is essentially the #1 way to make sure I do the opposite.

Overcommenting. Heads up - I work in PR and I'm on Facebook and Twitter ALL DAY, but even I can resist the urge to comment on everything I see posted to my timeline. And I appreciate that you think I am awesome, but it kind of creeps me out when you comment on any and all things I post. Within minutes. (And that goes double if you are a mere acquaintance, not someone I know well.)

Lack of response. If it is your intention to NOT write back to people's comments, then you are in the wrong place, bub. Start a diary. Keep it on your bedside table. 

Politics and religion. I'm not saying it doesn't belong on the internet but you'd better believe it's going to start a dialogue. That may go on forever. Don't be all surprised.

Don't be an asshole. You post something that makes you happy and someone shits all over it. You post a fact and someone immediately points out how wrong you are. You're loving this weather and someone tells you it's going to rain. Your baseball team is winning and someone wants to remind you how many games out of first they are... Don't be that guy. Never be that guy.

Abusing the Twitter. If you wanna chat with a friend, use AIM. Use your DMs. I don't need to know about your dinner plans in my feed. 

Play-by-play blogs. You know why wants to read a recount of your day in great detail? Almost no one. 

Game invites. Hey facebooker, if you've invited me to feed your horse on your ranch 18 times and I haven't yet, I'm not going to. I am glad you enjoy that game; it's just not my thing.

 

I could probably go on. I'm sure I have more however I'd hate to alienate everyone I'm friends with. As it is now, I'm pretty sure a couple of you are going to leave critical comments... Which is fine. I took that into consideration before writing this. 

I also asked some fellow bloggers what their social media pet peeves were as well:

• When people act surprised you know so much about them. 
• Being accused of stalking -- when you aren't.
• DMs on Twitter to solicit a follow.
• "Remember this" posts -- recycling something from a year ago.
• Overcommenting.
• Overposting.
• Saturating your page in politics and religious opinions.
• Lame Pinterest contests (there are many)
• Overusing hashtags 

With thanks to Linz, Miz Meliz, Sunshine Wonderland, Minnesota Girl in LA, Raised by Culture, Happy-Healthy-Hip and Baby Bump and Beyond

 Bonus Section

As a spin-off, if I may, some Blogger pet peeves. Take note of this, fellow bloggers. As a blogger AND publicist, I am in a unique postion to help you. Does that soung a little smug? Probably. Doesn't mean I'm wrong, though! 

Identify yourself. You're clearly blogging. On the internet. Throw us a bone, writers. Tell us your first name. Give us an e-mail address. Gmail is free so there's no excuse. Spam sucks but it's a fact of life. Get over it. Just be smart enough not to click on any links that look dodgy. 

Don't say yes to everything. We can smell that a mile away.

Send links. Once you've written about something, be a publicist's best friend and forward them a link to the story. Bonus points if you also include a link to the Facebook and Twitter posts about it. 

Be nice. It used to be that publicists needed you more than you needed them but let's be honest -- there are THOUSANDS of blogs out there. We may still need you, but not as desperately as some would like to believe. A little courtesy goes a long way. 

What the's #1 way to make a publicist immediately close your site? SOUND. Don't play music or especially ads with sound. Horrible. 

"When I was your age...!"

Can I just start this off by telling you my HEAD is KILLING me?! Dear god, there is something wrong up there. This concussion is out to get me. I'm pretty over it. Also, I could really use a strong pain pill (I'm not going to - but damn). I realize being on my laptop is really not the best thing for me... I simply cannot sit still. It's useless to try. So please expect me to complain about aches and pains, futily, for a while. If it bugs you too much and you wanna read something else, may I suggest this profundity. 

Anyway...

I've been trying to wrap my brain around being 33. For some reason, I was really dreading my birthday this year. I basically had to be talked into celebrating and the day of, I very nearly bailed on everything to stay in bed and be a mope. (I'm not kidding- the thought toally crossed my mind.)

I think I've mentioned -- I've been telling people that I'm 33 for anwhile now. It started as "Oh, I'm almost 33" and somehow became "33." Maybe that has something to do with it. I absent mindedly robbed myself of the climax.

I think what it really boils down to is perspective. I remember being 5 or even 15... Someone my age seemed so OLD to me. Someone my age had a husband and kids and a grown up job. My mom did. Actiually, when my mom was 33, I was already 8 years old. My brother was 6. My parents had already been married for over 10 years. They lived in a house - that they owned - with a big backyard and a dog.

And I'm so distant from any of that. At my 33, my career has barely taken shape. I live in an apartment that I share and rent. I am not only unmatched, I am stoically single. And I do not mean to devalue my friends or my life in general -- it's pretty great and I know that -- I just wonder if this all lay in the back of my mind somehow and that's what loomed over me as I was dreading this year's birthday.

But let's be honest, folks. I'm 33... at the maturity level of a 16 year old. ;) 

Emotional Inventory

A few weeks ago, a friend and I went to see The Lucky One. Whenever I see sappy movies with said friend, she always sobs and I remain rather stoic. 

It's not that I am immune to sentiment, but only a handful of movies make me cry and they are all totally random. For example, Mr. Holland's Opus. It must be the swell of music but that scene at the end just KILLS me. I've tested it out a couple times recently to be sure -- I simply cannot survive the final scene without a fit of tears. 

(Ok, seriously, I just looked up the scene on YouTube, and I CRIED AGAIN. Seriously! I didn't even watch the whole movie, people. There's clearly something wrong with my wiring.)

For the record, Steel Magnolias also always nails me. It's the southern accents. It makes everything seem even more tragic. 

But it's interesting that when I see a movie like The Lucky One, which I shockingly enjoyed but is pretty much constructed to make people swoon over Zac Efron and then burst into tears, that I remain unmoved. And it inevitably leads to me joiking around that I have no soul and never cry. 

Which, since I'm at it, is REALLY interesting because, well, I CRY A LOT. 

It's true. It's a badly kept secret so I don't mind saying it. I cried today, in fact. My head started to hurt around lunchtime and on came the waterworks. Same thing on Wednesday night. Sometimes I get mad at myself for being mad and I cry. Sometimes a conversation doesn't go the way I want it to and I cry... Those abandoned dog commercials that are on at like 3 AM when they play Sarah MacLachlan? CRYING LIKE A FOOL. I'm a planner, people, and when things don't go according to plan? I often experience a private little tantrum.

In short, I'm not quite the statue I would often try to convince myself that I am. And I guess I felt the need to let you all on this personal struggle of mine.

Coming soon: Things that make me happy, brave, angry, etc. I may run the whole gambit of shit that makes me emotional. 

And now, for your pleasure (and let's be honest, for mine as well), a gratuitous, hot photo of Zac Efron:

You're welcome.

It's Tuesday....

It's Tuesday. It's May 8th... It's my birthday. 

I was completely unexcited about my birthday this year - I cannot lie. I don't know what happened. I always feel pretty pumped to kick another year in the ass but 33 kind of winded me. 

But family helps. And friendship helps. And things like high tea, dirty martinis, lots of hugs...

I'm probably just being a brat. Sometimes I wonder if the many events of the last couple years have just sent me into some weird mental tailspin from which I'll never recover. But I don't know about that.

My birthday also marks a near-halfway point for 2012. And I must say my "33 in 2012" list is not where it needs to be. I recognize that many items on the list, like "wear my glasses more often," will not be checked off til the final hour, but I need to get more motivated on this thing. It's really become my pride and joy in a way -- I love having it; I love doing it. 

May is a crazy looking month but I think June will bring new opportunities. More time to relax and spend some time with myself. That's an important thing I often forget. 

Things in the immediate future I am looking forward to:

• Going to D.C. on Friday. It's for work but I'm excited anyway. :)
• Celebrating Mother's Day with my family on Sunday. (D.C. is a very short trip!)
• The youth group regional convention - I love my teens! 
• Memorial Weekend. Maybe I'll watch Gone With the Wind finally.
• Writing more. Writing a lot.
• The fifth anniversary of the blog -- a LANDMARK! I need to think of something special to celebrate it with you.

And on this birthday, I must give MAJOR, MAJOR props to my parents who actually used this blog to find my birthday present. My mom had the foresight to scope out the "Current Obsessions" section up there in my menu bar and I got this FABULOUS Kate Spade bag. I am in love with it:

THANK YOU, Mom and Dad! THANK YOU! And also THANK YOU to my brother who has gifted me a 6 month international membership to Ancestry.com -- I am really interested in my family tree and this opens a HUGE door for my decade-long project. I am SO excited to dive into this.

High Tea

I went with some close friends to enjoy high tea today at the Hotel Bel-Air. It was absolutely lovely. Thus far was my favorite thing to check off of the ol' "33 in 2012" list. 

I appreciate so much that my friends came and did this with me. If I may get overly sentimental for a moment--  It just meant so much to me. I will treasure this memory. 

Thank you, my friends. Thank you for celebrating with me. Thank you for being you. :)

 

Remembering Junior Seau

I was very sad today to hear about Junior Seau's suicide. I immediately remembered him as being exceedingly human - friendly and kind. He had to be for me to remember meeting him -- I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

In September '94, my family was on vacation in San Diego. On the morning of September 5, we were eating at a deli called D.Z. Akins and my parents saw him at a nearby table. I would not have picked him out -- I've never been that into football. But my dad picked up a newspaper from a rack outside because Junior was center, front page. He'd played an amazing game the night before versus the Denver Broncos. My mom asked him to autograph the newspaper. He was all smiles and flattered to be asked. I think he was excited to make the front page and I'm pretty sure my brother and I were introduced and he was nice to us. 

FYI - Headline is "High Fives for No. 55" -- Junior was #55. :)

A lot of the commentary on the news this morning has been about Junior's irrefutable joy for life and great kindness. His love for his three children and ex-wife. I don't doubt any of it. It is so sad he is gone and the circumstances could not be worse. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Seau. I hope whatever demons plagued you have subsided now. 

 

A little more:

Marcellus Wiley Gets Emotional Over Junior Seau Death On ESPN (VIDEO)

 

Why Tables Are Dangerous

Did I mention I am suffering from a minor concussion? Let me explain.

One of my new favorite things to do is pack up my laptop, ipad, etc. and hit the local Starbucks for a few hours. It's not that I can't write at home (I am now, in fact), but I feel more committed there - go figure. I've always done better with writing partners. 

Last Sunday, I was leaning down to plug my laptop in and I guess I hadn't pushed the table out far enough... As I bent over, my head crashed right into the edge of the table.

Tables are tricky, man. You have to watch them EVERY. SECOND. 

A week later, I am still feeling a little fuzzy, battling periodic headaches and/or dizzy spells. It's the most ridiculous thing... And every time I think I am getting better, I am reminded by how wrong I am with an attack of "owwwwwwwwwwwwwww." This morning, I could barely sit up in bed. 

Super fun times. 

Last night, my friend has a run in with a very aggressive group of potted plants. They came after her car. Horrible. 

Do you SEE what is HAPPENING people? The objects are FIGHTING BACK! This is awful. 

It really leaves me no choice. We must put the tables in a locked room with the plants. They are to blame. They must duke it out. 

What the Stars Say

I get a daily newsletter from the Kabbalah Center, where I used to take classes, and often times I ignore them, to be honest. But I found this one to be pretty interesting. Mostly because some of it is so dead on. If you know me, you may find this somewhat amusing:

TRAITS OF TAURUS

Assets of Taurus:

Loyal, consistent, patient, tolerant, dislikes conflict, friendly, non-judgmental

Main motivation:

“Don’t push – leave me alone.”

Negatives (and how to transform them):

Avoids changes involving self
Visualize negative consequences of not changing. Ask the Light to help create pressure to change within.

Stubborn, fixed, afraid of the pain of change
Look for opportunities to change. Move away from set ways and listen to others more.

Runs away from pressure
Welcome the pressure. Great Light manifests through great stress.

Own comfort comes first
Real comfort comes from being willing to be uncomfortable. Ask the Light for the strength to see the Light within the challenge.

Too involved in self-image
Stop indulging yourself. Get busy sharing. Don’t take your time on earth for granted.

Doesn’t like to make waves
Confront issues when they arise. Restrict the desire to flee from confrontation.

Believes everything is fine, even when it’s not
Everything is fine only when you’re working on transforming yourself.

Attached to home and familiar surroundings
Each change in living situation or job is a new incarnation, so welcome in the new.

How to improve relationships with a Taurus:

• Show love, affection, and empathy
• Don’t push right away
• Refer to the consequences of not changing
• Keep the pressure on them
• Help them to discover the illusionary comfort of physicality
• Encourage and support change

 

"What are you doing?"

I was thinking about how busy the past few weeks have been and was reminded of this improv game we used to play in high school called "What are you doing?" in which you perform and action and the opponent asks, well, "What are you doing?" You respond by saying you're doing something OTHER than what you are acting out.

For example, if I am pretending to mow the lawn, I might say I am sewing a dress. 

You keep this up, switching off, and it's a hilarious good time. It's rather chaotic, in fact. Which, I suppose, when recounting the past couple of weeks, I thought of it. 

I try very hard on this blog to NOT recount my life as a play-by-play. I don't think it's interesting to tune into a blog and read "And THEN I went to the store. After THAT, I went out for a drink with Scott. The next day, Sarah and I went shopping..." Of course, as a result, I guess you don't really know what I am up to these days. 

I went to a screening of The Princess Bride and it was magical. I love that movie. To celebrate their anniversary, one of our local theater's was showing it on the big screen and I've never seen it that way before. It's just one of those movies that never gets old. And following, we had a surprise appearance from Cary Elwes, who was charming and affable and happy to answer questions from the audience. 

I joined the SoCal Lady Bloggers network I am proudly part of to go see The Bloggess read from her new book and dialogue with Punky Brewster herself, Soleil Moon Frye. The Bloggess, Jenny Lawson, was quirky and hilarious and my only regret is that Beyonce the big metal chicken was not there to greet us. 

Tomorrow night, a friend and I are going to take our first fencing lesson. Because I'm deranged. And we need to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. At least, that's what my friend says. I was very excited to start up the new hobby, ticking another one off the ol' "33 in 2012" list but as it now nears, I am really nervous about it for some reason. 

I'm exhausted thinking about all I've done this month and everything ahead. I am too, too busy. I know this is a terrible complaint to make. I realize how lucky I am to be active and have so many amazing friends. And I am glad that most of them understand my schedule has become impossible... I know it's horrendous to complain about having such a fun life. I guess my complaint is really about myself -- which is that at almost 33, I still don't know how to really relax or how to say no. I'm still always afraid to miss out on something or to be left out. 

{sigh} There's a hashtag in this, my fair readers. #FirstWorldProblems, right? Maybe #GrassIsAlwaysGreener... I'll work on it. 

I guess it could be worse. I could be Jessica Simpson. Whom I'm pretty sure has been pregnant for 14 months now. She is going to give birth to a three year old. Seriously, click on her name there and read the story. Look at the picture. Homegirl is packing a football team in there. It's insane. I'm obsessed with it.

I will depart for now by introducting you to Legally Delish, who is really named Erin, a blogger I met at aforementioned Bloggess event. She lovably has her own big metal chicken named Ben Affleck. You should read about it because it's almost as hysterical as Jenny's adoption of Beyonce. (And if this is all gibberish to you, you should read BOTH entries because it is just side-splitting, pee-in-your-pants HIGH-larious comedy, people.) 

Three Words: Discounted Designer Duds

Yesterday, I tried something new -- I went to Rachel Pally's sample sale in a rather seedy and isoltaed downtown neighborhood in Los Angeles. 

A thirty minute drive and some mild parking confusion later, I found myself wandering down an empty outside cooridor, past closed workshops and studios. 

Around the furthest corner in a large storage space, there were bins and bins, bars and bars of Pally's lovely apparel. Things previously marked at well over $300 or $400 now well under $100. And there was no shortage of White Label (Pally's plus line) items to pour through. I was jumping for joy on the inside upon spotting it! 

The dressing area was communal, which was rather awkward for me. But thanks to an illustrious high school theater career, I know many a trick to change an outfit without revealing too much of my lady bits... 

And let's be honest, ladies -- for discounts this vast, exposing a stranger to my bare thighs is not a big deal. They can suffer for fashion as I do. 

There was one girl in the dressing area with a body you might actually commit murder for. She was stunning. Everything she tried on was so perfectly fitting, it was actually hard to hate her. She was't vapid or arrogant. She checked out how her butt looked like I do; she covered her upper arms in embarassment like I do. I probably stared at her for too long -- thankfully, she did not offer me her number. 

I came home with a couple goodies and renewed love for Rachel Pally. If you have the dough to spare, treat yourself to something from her shop. And if you're in Los Angeles, make sure to sign up for her mailing list because apparently these sample sales happen a few times a year -- and they are worth it! 

A favorite White Label item

 

P.S. My previous post on Pally and White Label can be found here.

P.P.S. Rachel Pally is all over the web for you to enjoy:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachelpally
• Blog: http://rachelpally.tumblr.com/
• Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/rachelpallyinc/
• Twitter: http://twitter.com/rachelpally